The Alpha's Baby Momma

08| sunrises are made of honey.

"what's on your mind?"his voice was soft,breath warm as it danced across my forehead and I hummed lowly as I threw my leg over his- he'd shifted sometime during the night,and he was now wearing short cotton shorts that framed his muscular thighs perfectly.

"I'm just sad is all." He hummed as he brushed my curls out of my face,touch fluttering like butterflies at the back of my neck, "I mean...I lost my first patient yesterday,and the coldness in his eyes when he opened them for the last time is haunting me. Everyone else seems fine,it's just another casualty for them,he wasn't gonna live till 20 anyway it's weird-the world isn't as shaken as I am... everybody's gunna wake up soon,have an espresso or Americano,then they're gonna go back to doing a job they enjoy that pays them literal pennies,and some nurses will go back to that job they hate-they're gunna treat patients so horribly,you'll wonder who forced them into medical school-they're gonna fall right back into their routines,unharmed. Mateo's gone Jaehyun, gone...and yet,the earth is still spinning and people is still cool and chilled,it's like- to the world, Mateo never even existed," I explained as he listened patiently, squeezing my shoulder gently as I got to the last part.
"You're afraid," he said as more of a statement than a question,and I nodded as I ran my hand across the tattoo on his right hip,
"I guess I'm afraid I'm just living for the sake of it,I'm afraid of fading away from everyone's memory and being neglected... It's a scary realisation, that, we're all just tiny particles in this giant universe that we haven't even explored fully yet,and my disappearance makes no difference whatsoever. Once dead, we're all fourth grade love letters and fifth grade poems- we're crumpled pieces of paper stuck in history textbooks,letters that never reached their destination,poems we never read out loud in class... The world doesn't feel your absence,and the Earth keeps spinning.

"I'm sorry about Cruella,I know you had a soft spot for him...and I know you feel like it's your fault, but it's not,you can't save everyone. You know he's gone,the children will know he's not there and feel the emptiness of his space for a while, I can feel his absence,I'm sure Mica does too.
And the world will stop if you do die,maybe not the whole world-but mine. I'll remember how you snorted whenever you laughed,I'll remember that you liked your socks with butterflies on them,and you didn't eat ice cream if it wasn't chocolate mint. I'll remember how much passion you put into everything you did,and how you never gave up. Your space here," he places my hand on his chest,and I can feel his heart thumping," it'll never be filled, it'll always be yours, because I don't know how big the universe is,but I know in mine,you're the sun and all my thoughts revolve around you. I'll remember you and miss you everyday,and that's what matters."
I nodded,burying my face in his chest as I sobbed,wiping my tears hastily,
"Wolfie?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry about what I said,it wasn't very nice and I know it hurt your feelings,so I'm sorry," he was quiet for a while,just tapping his fingers on the top of my head before saying,
"It's okay...I'm sorry I acted the way I did, I just didn't have a normal upbringing,and I didn't get much love from anyone,not even my own appa...so,I guess my heart really shattered when the one person who was made to love and cherish me yelled that she didn't love me,too. Please don't-dont say that, no matter how angry you get,not anymore. I really want to have you as mine,even if it follows the disheartening courting you humans prefer,I will bear it," I like the way his voice drifted in the air,like honey off honeycombs,and my heart fluttered as he mentioned courting me.
"You still want me?"
"Always fairy,I'll always want you."
He was the big spoon and I was the little one,his big body engulfing mine as we watched the first rays of the sun creep in through the open blinds,my cheeks warm and fuzzy as he whispered sleep drunk serenades. "I like sunrises" I whispered,mouth hanging slightly agape at the sight I met when I turned my head to look at him,stars were dancing in his white pupils,lip caught between his sharp teeth as he thought deeply,
"I didn't like them at first...mostly cause every morning for eighteen years I was woken up before the sun rose,and it gave no mercy as I ran 5 kilometres from home and back. But I like it now, I like how the sun rays dance on your eyes,they're so shiny and orange brown-ish when you stare at the sunrise, and it's the most beautiful sight to wake up to...it just reminds me of honey when your eyes twinkle in amusement or adoration,it's soft,delicate and sweet,I like that. Matt o fact,I've concluded that sunrises are made of honey." He mimicked my 'matt o fact',and I grinned ear to ear as I laughed, "pssh,you're still sleep drunk,just go to sleep. That didn't even make sense at all."
"Yeobo,it did in my head." I sucked my teeth as he lay his head between my shoulder and my head,his hair tickling me as I laughed,this man/wolf was actually a child.
I snapped a quick selfie of us before throwing my phone on the bedside table, noting that it was still just 6am.

The weight on my heart felt like it had been lifted after talking to him,and I was glad that I did talk to him instead of running like I always did, butterflies fluttering in my stomach as I recapped our conversation,smiling as I thought about honey. I guess he's right,the delicate way the sun rays sneak in through the blinds really does remind me of honey trickling down those pancakes my momma used to make. God bless her soul.