All the Way - an F1 story

38

22 September, 2021
📍Monte-Carlo, Monaco

"Now, you say that you don't try to let the past affect you that much, but last weekend must have been hard for that; it was your mother's birthday on Sunday, on top of the article that came out. I mean, any normal person would have just been unable to race, but you came back and won!"

"Nice to know you don't consider me to be normal, Natalie."

The Sky presenter shared a laugh with her. It was a beautiful day, and the only reason Calina had even agreed to do an interview was because Marco was beginning to get quite insistent once knowing she was doing a lot better, saying she couldn't just completely disappear off the face of the earth after winning her first Grand Prix.

"No, but, uh, it was definitely difficult. You know, it took quite a bit out of me in the days after, Friday especially, because I honestly didn't even want to go to practice. It took time, but another part of me realised that I wouldn't be doing anything for myself by running away. It took a lot out of me to continue with the weekend, but I knew I had to, for myself, for the team, and for my family—and having them there made it so much easier." Calina sighed, not knowing how to form the rest of her words. "So, yeah."

"Well, I can tell you that it was a very relieving sight to see you in the paddock."

"I'm glad, thank you. I didn't know you loved me like that, Natalie."

"Oh, of course we do, Calina," Natalie chuckled. "How could we not?"

"Now, you mentioned your family, and well, your younger brothers, Sébastien and Mathis Gaspé, were there last weekend as guests of—was it the team?"

"Yeah."

"Right. How was it having them there for all of that that weekend." Calina sighed, looking down as she picked at her freshly manicured fingernails. Sophie was going to kill her.

"It—oh, god, I don't even know. I guess it was both good and bad." Calina could really only shrug.

"I mean, obviously, I love them, and that article—it really stressed us out in a sense, but it also brought the three of us together. What was said there about us and our family is untrue, but it's these challenging times nonetheless that really just bring us together to support each other, and to me, their support means more than the world. I don't think I would've gotten through all those years of racing without the twins. I guess I could really just say I wouldn't have wanted them to have to deal with all the chaos, but having them there made getting back just so much easier, you know?"

Natalie smiled fondly.

"It's so beautiful the relationship you have with them, like really, it's just so incredible. You've said their support has been immense for so long, and we saw that especially this past weekend, and I want to also talk about your team, Pagani. Their response has been nothing but a shower of support for you, and I just have to ask how it must feel to know your team has you back like that?"

"It's-it's just incredible, really. They've all been so supportive since the very beginning, and I don't think that this one incident is going to change any feelings towards me. I mean—when I joined the team, obviously I hadn't really told anyone about my history with my mental health, only that I was actively seeing a medical professional for it, but the suicide attempt, I mean—that was something I would have been willing to share when I was ready, but obviously, you know..."

"Yeah."

"Exactly. Like, I—I did want to talk about it, eventually, but too late now I guess. Anyways, though—you know, the team, they've all been great about it. I'm very lucky to be on a team like this, because we're just all—we know, in a sense, that we have to have each other's backs all the time, especially in a sport like Formula One, because everyone is just so cutthroat."