In my mind |hope Mikaelson

Psychotic

WARRING DARK THEMES IN THIS CHAPTER! INCLUDING THOUGHTS OF HURTING OTHER AND THEMSELVES!

(while she was passed out)

"hello!?" i speak out to the void. there's no noise, no people, no nothing. just complete emptiness.

Oh god! I'm that one girl in horror movies that always dies first.- though, im not complaning about the death part.

"i can't let that happen im afraid, although i have a feeling you'll like living a little more then you used to." a rough hard voice speaks from behind me.

My body spins around and my lips part in a gasp. I see a—I actually don't know what that is. It has a zipper like smile, and no eyes from what I can see. A red hat also sits upon it's head.

"What the fuck." I mutter to myself. The creatures eyebrows raise and a taunting
Smirk appears on its face.

"It's quite the sight to see isn't it?" It speaks out. "My name is abaddon, it's lovely to finally meet you my sweet."

Wow. It finally happened. I've officially lost my mind.

"Don't get your panties in a twist your not insane I am real. We have business to attend to so hurry up with your inner monologue."

I give him a blank stare, confusion swirling around my thoughts. "Where the hell am I?" I ask, breaking through my confused daze. 

"Your in our meeting place, this is where we will meet and I will inform you of the plans from now on."

"What plans?! I have literally never met you before!"

"All In good time my dear." He walks up to me and pushes a strand of hair behind my hair. "I'm very excited that it was you who completed the spell, we have so much to look forward to. I'll see you soon, Leah"

Suddenly, I lose sight of him and fall back. A continuous cycle of falling— or so I thought.

I wake up laying in hopes lap, with her bright blue eyes staring down at me.

"Leah, are you okay?! What happened?"

'Kill her'

"Yeah, I'm fine," I voice, siting up from her lap and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you."

'Kill her'

Confusion swirls through her eyes while she looks at me concerned. "You sure?"

'Kill her'

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

She blinks at me, not expecting my answer "well, um, okay get some rest." She says, giving me some space and walking over to her bed and climbing into it.

***

Around 3 AM

***

I sit up in my bed, looking a the auburned haired girl sleeping peacefully in her bed.

As I stare, the scenes begin to play throughout my mind, her laying on the ground with a knife through her heart, and life draining away from her eyes. The sound of her begging for her life. The way her blood covers my hands.

Why am I thinking like this? What is wrong with me?

Pure Guilt pierces through my heart recalling the absurd thoughts. 'You don't deserve to be alive. Kill yourself. She would be happier if you weren't alive. Everyone would be happier if you were dead, grant their wishes and just finish the job. You don't deserve to be able to look at her'

"Leah?" I hear hopes haft asleep voice murmur from her side of the room.

"Yeah?"

"Um do you maybe wanna um sleep together— wait! No that sounded wrong i- I meant in the same bed not actually like sleeping together, sleeping together, not that I don't wanna sleep with you, but I mean um- y- yeah you know what I mean." She rambles a deep blush coating her face.

Hearing her nervous rundown brings a smile to my face, but I can't help but still feel void. Emotions aren't as prominent as they used to be. The joy I used to feel around her replaced with a overwhelming sense of resentment towards myself. She is the most selfless person on the planet, and I'm hearing voices about hurting her. I'll be dammed if I let them win.

"Leah?"

"Oh um yeah, sorry I got lost in thought." I said getting up from my bed, going over to hers. I slip under the cover's wrapping my arms around her waist, bringing our bodies closer. Indulging in the warmth she brings me. She snuggles back into me, grabbing my hand as she rubs soft circles into my skin.

I can feel my worries and past violent thoughts about settling into the back of my mind, reliving me of the tension.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asks me. I place a few small kisses onto her neck and run my free hand over the skin of her stomach.

"I'm okay, don't worry about me get some rest." With those words she seems to relax and snuggle closer to me. After awhile her breaths even out, and soft snores leave her parted lips.

Looking down at her once more, I find myself drifting off into a dreamless sleep, finally solidifying the peace that I've longed for all day, I just wish it would last.

***

The next day, around 12:00.

***

The guilt was eating me alive. It was sucking the life out me. This morning I woke up with hope still fast asleep in my arms. She looked at peace. The time was moving quickly so unfortunately I had to wake her up so she wasn't late for her classes. We got up and ready and walked to our first class.

The first class was the easiest. I didn't have any violent thoughts about murdering someone I cared about. The most that plagued my mind my mind was self deprecating thoughts. I would much rather have that then having them about hope.

By the end of my second class, I still haven't heard any voices about hurting hope, which I'm grateful for. The thoughts about hurting myself tho? Those have gotten increasingly worse with every passing minute.

Then by my fourth class it was so bad to the point where I had to leave class.

My magics going haywire, causing lights to explode and flicker.

"Oh no no no no, please stop." I plead threading my hands through my hair.

I finally get to the dorm and can try to calm down.

I feel something run down from my nose, and I reach up and feel blood.

All of a sudden I feel lightheaded. The room around me starts to spin and I fall to the ground with a thud. Then the world around me goes black.

                         Authors note

Thank you so much for reading and over 3k views, I never thought I would get there. Sorry this took so long I had writers block and had no motivation. I hope you like the storyline so far and there's much more to come and I'm so excited to be able to write about it. Comments and votes are appreciated so thank you so much for those. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can, have a wonderful day/night.

✨unedited✨

1179 words.