Grayscale

-Chapter 14-

This is dedicated to @pilotmuk19 Thanks for the quote! :)

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"Perhaps, one did not want to be loved so much as be understood."

Sierra raised her head. Something about her looked off. It wasn't the hospital clothes she was wearing or her messy hair. Then, I noticed. It was her eyes. They lost their playful sparkle and wild spirit. She was no longer free but chained and caged. Yet, her mouth still curved upwards into that all-too-familiar smirk. "Hello, Marley Aspen."

"I don't understand," I say.

"What is there to understand?"

"This situation, you, everything. I thought I had you figured out."

Sierra looks down. "Did Ryan tell you where I was?" I nod. "Did Ryan seem disappointed or angry or...?"

"He was really angry. And so am I. Sierra, why?"

"Ryan knows, he knew," Sierra mumbles. Know what? But I didn't press Sierra for answers, especially because she seemed to not be answering any of my questions right now. Sierra inhales deeply, puffing her cheeks up before slowly releasing her breath in a small "O" shaped release. "So, Marley. Do you think I am insane and crazy, and that I belong here?"

I shuffle my feet uncomfortably. "I don't think you're insane. You're crazy, but in a good way. You just... need some fixing and guidance right now."

Sierra looks up, disappointed in my answer. "I don't need fixing. I can't be fixed. Humans think they can fix everything, but some things are irreparable, and when they can't fix you or understand you, they call you insane, psycho, hell, all the words they can think of to categorize you into somewhere you don't belong. All because they can't polish you to perfection and can't figure out where to fit you." 

"Sierra— "

"My name's not Sierra."

"Pardon?" The word sounds strange coming from my mouth. Pardon? I never used that word in my whole life before. It was strange and new, but then again, everything was strange and new as of now.

"My name's not Sierra," she whispers. "It's Marley."

"What?" I say because I am filled with confusion. "What?" I say again this time, but out of shock. "What do you mean your name is Marley? Did you take one too many pills? My name is Marley. I am Marley and your name is Sierra." 

"Of course I wouldn't come here with my real name," Sierra— no Marley— says, looking down at her fingers. "Because anonymity is somehow liberating and when I know I have made enough of this anonymity I shall let loose of all my fears and be there out in the open."

"What have you made of your so-called anonymity? When were you going to tell me, or anybody? Were you even planning to tell me? You lied, you lied and said you hated lying, Si-- Mar--" I can't bring myself to call her Sierra, yet it is unnatural to call her Marley, so I don't call her anything. And I wonder if that was her worst fear. Amidst all the talk about names fitting people, maybe she couldn't find one that fit her, yet Sierra is just like everybody else. She wanted to have an identity, and maybe when she was searching for her identity, she lost it. 

She looks up, tears forming in her eye. She quickly swipes at them. "I wasn't lying," she says, her voice cracking, "my middle name is Sierra."

"I need a moment to think," I whisper, confusion swirling around me because this is new. Her name, her tears, her voice cracking. This wasn't Sierra, this was Marley. This was who she was, truly. But who was I? I need more than a moment to think, I need moments and moments piled together, moments that weren't Sierra but were Sierra.

I cast one look back, then sprinted away, towards the shiny, scrubbed floors of the hall, the doors smooth against my palm as I forced them open. All I can hear was a "wait, Marley!" before the door closed shut, but I didn't know who that was for, whether it was for herself, or for me.

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Hey, so I know that was pretty short, but next one (the last) will be a lot longer, I promise. Anyone expected that? ;)

Keep voting and commenting! Remember, this is the chapter before THE last!

<3,

C. Augustine