ꜱᴏᴜᴋᴏᴋᴜ ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ.

Qᴜɪᴇᴛᴜꜱ.

angsty shit (16!soukoku)
warning : character death, suicide.

꒰third person's pov.꒱

While on a mission the duo, soukoku, would have either arguments or normal conversations. What was happening right now was between both. "Jeez, Chuuya you need to grow some height! Right now you just look like a feminine lady." Dazai teased. "Oh shut it! Just give me your height already, you're already tall enough" the ginger said. "Right- and that is technically impossible and even if it was, I wouldn't give it to you!" He said, snickering a little. "Didnt you always want to die? I'll fuckin' fulfil it right now." Chuuya glared and seemed to say that in a serious tone.

"Waah~ so scary, and if you were dead I wouldn't even care! No matter happens I won't care." Dazai replied, but also with a serious tone. This made Chuuya a little, shocked and sad. "Ah.. yea well as if you're even gonna care one bit" He said, glancing away to the distance, barely seeing what's there. That's right, it's winter. Chuuya wasn't really used to the cold, in fact he hated it. Thinking of what Dazai said, as if it echoed in his(Chu's) head - a shiver came up due to how cold it is. "Awe is the little chibi cold~?" Dazai chaffed at, which actually is a way to get Chuuya into being in his arms, how cute!

Something didn't seem right, Chuuya didn't give off a flustered shy angry expression. He just gave a blank expression. Dazai was clearly concerned, and scooted to where chuuya was standing. "Chibi?" Dazai called out. No answer. "Chibiiii" He repeated, but in a more annoying tone. Dazai grabbed Chuuya by his shoulders and started shaking him. "NAKAHARA CHUUUUYYYAAA!" Finally, something that could make the ginger snap out of his thoughts. "Huh? The fuck do you want?" Chuuya looked at Dazai in pure blankness.

To specify Dazai's reaction, he was quite flabbergasted at how Chuuya looked at him. Usually he's yell at Dazai or something- but this? It wasnt quite Chuuya of him. "Hey uhh, wanna play tag?" Dazai tried to lighten up the mood. "No, I don't wanna play a child's game." answer was bland, this really wasn't something Chuuya would say. Clinging onto the shorty, Dazai tried to tease him "C'mon chibi~ You know that you wanna play with me! I'm your dearest owner~" poking his cheek, it still didn't make Chuuya react like he usually would.

Don't you think Dazai's words affected the ginger? It actually did. Dazai was just too dumb to realise what he actually did. "Maybe we could go to a cafe? We'll go to a French cafe! You really like those" Recommended Dazai, along with a gentle smile. Only Chuuya did was shake his head a 'no' and gaze off. By that time the duo should've left the place a while ago and call it a day.

♡︎♡︎♡︎

In the next day, around 6:30 am, Dazai was already awake and waiting for Chuuya because of their mission. But they agreed to meet at 5:45 fucking am. Now what did chuuya plan? Yes, Dazai has called chuuya multiple times. There was no answer. "Weird, that midget would've been here before me. What got into him? Another 15 minute passing and I'm leaving this shit place" He talked to himself. While waiting for the ginger, Dazai decided to call Kouyou about it, he'd always do that if it was about Chuuya.

There was a fat chance that she wouldn't answer, it was early morning, was expected. But oh! She answered.

"Hello? Kouyou-San? How are you?"
"Dazai, where is Chuuya?"
"Straight to the point, are we? I called you to ask about that, so is he not with you?"
"No, he isn't. I figured that he'd be with you"
"Well, he's not. That's why I'm calling youu~ I just wanna know where my Chibi is!"
"Funny Dazai-Kun, but Chuuya left a suicide note."

With that, you could imagine Dazai regretting all his life choices. Absolutely sad and surprised, not even Chuuya told him about it. 'Why? Why did you do this?' Was repeating in Dazai's head. He finally realised, from yesterday. His 'joke' wasn't taken as a joke.

"Dazai-kun? Dazai-kun!"
"Does it say anything about me in there?"
"You should come in and read the letter for yourself."
"Fine. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Hanging up on Kouyou, Dazai could feel the sudden feeling of crying and pain. He loved Chuuya, he fucking loved him. "Why did Chuuya have to die? I was the one.. who was supposed to die. Why god? Why? Just tell me." Silence was all there to hear, Dazai didn't believe there was ever a god in life, perhaps that was why. "Forget it, whatever people call 'god' doesn't even exist." While walking away to where Kouyou and Chuuya stayed in.

♡︎♡︎♡︎

꒰Chuuya's pov + rewind.꒱

What an asshole, it really doesn't seem like a fucking Joke. Would he actually take it seriously if I said that I hated him and wish that he was dead? "HES SUICIDAL OF COURSE HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF! Oh- shit." There I was lost in my own thoughts and preparing to lose my shit. Wish that I could drink already, just two more years. Actually, I don't even think that I'll be alive after this year. I wished to have a future with Dazai but I guess I'm the one who won't even have a future, heh.

... "What if I kill myself today?" following with a scoff, can't believe that I said that, who'd literally try to kill themselves just a moment after thinking of it? Well, anyone besides Dazai- and me. Walking out of a store with a bunch of pills and a rope, I should at least write a note before I die, right? What would other people honestly do, I'm getting curious. Will It be possible for me to die when I use corruption? Actually no, Dazai might know and he'd stop me like all the other times.

I got back home and went to my room with a glass of water, holding the bag of pills along with rope in it. "But I should write something before I die." Whispering to myself, immediately I took out a paper with a pen. Then, started to write a suicide note. I better not leave it so cringy or attention seeking, maybe I should write that I loved Dazai all this time too. Was it always this hard to write these things? I'll start off by my problems to why I'm ending my life, then thanking Anee-San for taking care of me, and.. my feelings. Maybe I shouldn't- fuck, no, chuuya the hell. Well, let me write it down.

"By the time this has been read, I'm dead. I'm the least expected person to kill themselves, right. But I've been feeling very pressured and that I make too many mistakes, it's making me feel like I'm better off as dead. Which is why, I'm dead! All these missions are really hard, and if I made a mistake, only whatever god there knows how scared I've felt. But thank you Anee-San for literally taking care of me for almost ever since I joined this place. I couldn't ask for anything better. And Dazai, I hate you but I fucking love you so damn much. Thank you for getting me into this hellhole.

-Nakahara Chuuya."

꒰End of the rewind, third person's pov.꒱

All Dazai felt was regret, sadness, and shock. Chuuya really killed himself huh? That's so unexpected, Chuuya killing himself like that. It's a thing Dazai would most likely do. "Did you find his corpse when you saw this?" He asked, there isn't any necrophila shit but Dazai wants to know how Chuuya died. "Chuuya died from overdosing on too many pills, I already saw him on the bed dead." Kouyou answered, seemingly in a cold tone.

All they could do is arrange Chuuya's funeral and say their goodbyes, Dazai still had felt regretful because his and chuuya's feelings were mutual but they didn't directly confess to each other. No romantic dates, shared kisses in a direct way, or anything. Chuuya really had a lot more in life, but maybe dragging him in to the port mafia was really a bad idea after all.

Dazai walked to the place where he got Chuuya to join port mafia, looking there in complete sadness. He partly had no idea how to feel. Opening his mouth to say something, but nothing came out of it except the words "I love you too." in a whisper-like voice. Then Dazai had walked back, with a blank expression.

A/n

Do I even know what I wrote? Nope! I'm forgetting that I have this app laying around on my phone, Listen i have ideas but idfk how to turn them into literal oneshots.