I try to rationalize it away.
Feelings aren't part of the plan yet.
Not here.
Not now.
Not her.
It's the classic plot -
Girl falls for her best friend.
Funny how common it actually is.
When our foreheads touch
I want to kiss her.
With music playing in the background
And the heads turning
To greet the new couple.
But statistics show that the first kiss is never the best.
My life has been carefully planned out by my own hand
and kissing a girl this early on
is not part of the equation.
Statistically, most relationships fail within
the first three months.
Statistically, most things are better left
platonic.
My heart refuses rationalization.
It beats on and on, pulling me towards that joyous girl,
shrouded in shadows and light.
It beats stronger when I think of her.
When I fall asleep, I think of her.
She's my last thought of the night and first
of the morning.
I text her goodnight, calling her my sunshine.
She calls me moonlight.
I text heart after heart and hope she understands.
She texts me hearts back.
My brain tells me she texts them to all her close friends
while my heart races in her direction.
My body is conflicted.
Confused.
Do I tell her?
Do I hide?
There is no guidebook for this feeling.
There is no way our interlaced fingers count as platonic.
There could be no way they count as romantic.
Her friend calls me her girlfriend as a joke.
He seems to find it funny.
He has no idea how funny it really is.
We joke about being a couple
with our heads together and bodies pressed tight.
I laugh along with her.
My brain rationalizes.
My heart yearns.
My signals are mixed.
My eyes trace her lips.
There is no guidebook for this.
