For You || Chensung

X

Chenle was lying on his bed, arms and legs splayed as he stared at the ceiling. He'd been at home just a couple days short of two weeks. He had multiple messages from the other members asking how he was, but he only sent back short replies.

Jisung hadn't messaged him at all. It actually hurt, but what could Chenle ask for really. He'd run away from the younger; he didn't deserve to get messages from Jisung. Chenle threw an arm over his eyes, a sigh escaping him.

"Chenle?" His mother knocked on his open door as she stepped into the room. "Want some tea?" She already had the mug, so there was no way that Chenle would refuse.

After sitting up and taking the mug, Chenle mouthed a thank you to his mother. Mrs Zhong sat down on Chenle's bed, watching him drink the tea she'd provided.

Chenle's family had only moved to Seoul in the past year, wanting to be closer to him. Chenle missed Shanghai sometimes, but you can't live in the same place forever right? He would be forever grateful to his family for moving for his sake.

"Feel like talking today?" Mrs Zhong tried, smiling in a jokey way. Chenle just looked at her, a small smile of his own appearing. He would talk if he could, but there was just nothing that ever came out.

Mrs Zhong just chuckled, ruffling Chenle's hair. "Mama is going grocery shopping, do you need anything?" She waited until Chenle shook his head in reply before giving him a kiss on the forehead.

Chenle placed the mug on his side table, before flopping back down onto his bed. He was getting tired of himself at this point. How hard was it to just talk? Chenle suddenly sat up again, taking a deep breath. It wasn't the first time he'd tried like this, on the contrary, he'd tried to speak every single day.

Chenle got up from his bed, walking out of his room and down the corridor. He went down the stairs into the living room, opening the back doors leading to the garden.

The sun was blazing down, painting the green grass the colour of the NCT light sticks. Chenle felt his emotions drop at the thought; everything reminded him of NCT. He missed them. He really missed them.

Chenle walked out into the garden, laying down in the grass. The sun was warm against his skin, and there was no wind. Just a calm, perfect day. He watched the clouds roll by, before his eyes drifted shut.

There wasn't anything that Chenle needed to think about anymore. He'd made up his mind, just in those few minutes of laying in the grass. His eyes opened again, just in time to catch a butterfly flutter past. Chenle had come to the conclusion that he would tell Jisung his feelings. Whether he did or didn't, his voice definitely won't come back.

Almost 5 months... Practically half a year. Chenle was really letting NCT down, and god knows why SM thought about the entire situation. They probably wouldn't put up with it all for much longer. Chenle had even seen that NCT had performed Resonance recently. He'd read the comments on the news page, most comments asking about were Chenle was. Some other fans had replied with a simple 'maybe he's sick'.

Chenle sighed, turning to his side on the grass. He knew that it was better for everyone in NCT if he just left. They couldn't just wait around for him forever, and SM didn't even mention a hiatus for him. So what else was there for him?

Maybe Chenle's dream just wasn't meant to be. He should be happy about where he'd gotten to, it just so happens that his road ended here. Everyone else's would carry on, and soon he would be forgotten. With or without him, NCT would still continue.

Chenle sat up, shaking the thoughts from his head. Where did those depressing thoughts come from? He leaned back on his palms, staring up at the sky once again.