𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀

always you - nr

NATASHA ROMANOFF

WARNINGS!!
panic attack (quick description because i'm lazy, sorry)

NOT PROOFREAD

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it was all too much, the work, the sheer amount of work, the deadlines, my part-time job, it all

it was all just so consuming. i barely eat or sleep just so i can get things done

normally i would just brush past it and act like i wasn't stressed at all when deep down i was so close to bubbling over. there's no need to bother other people with my problems

today was the day that i just couldn't hold the panic down, people just wanted too much from me today

tony wanted to tell me about the new upgrades he had made on his suit, i didn't have a enough time to but i couldn't bring myself to say no so i followed him to lab and spent three hours there. those three hours could have been spent doing the essay i got screamed at by my teacher for not doing

steve tried to explain the structure of mission reports to me even though i didn't ask, i didn't want to upset him so i stayed and listened even though that hour could have been spent doing my coursework i missed the deadline for

i didn't have anyone to seek comfort it, mama, wanda, and maria had all gone on a two month undercover mission and i didn't want to burden them with my problems. they save the world and i couldn't handle some school work and a part-time job

i was broken from my thoughts by a knock on my door "knock knock" they said which if i wasn't so tired i would've laughed at

"come in, clint"

second person

the smile that clint sported was instantly wiped away once he caught sight of the mess that was your room and the exhaustion that was pretty evident on your face

he took it upon himself to be a parental figure to you when nat, maria, and wanda all had missions

"need a hug?" the archer asked with his hand on your shoulder. you were currently sat at your desk with your laptop in front of you

"need mama" you mumbled as you let your head rest on the desk whilst receiving an understanding hum from clint

"a few more days kiddo, a few more days"

[le time skippp]

"i- i can't- breath" you sobbed

it call crashed down on you, all your emotions, all your lack of sleep, everything. it only took bucky telling you take a break for your visage to crumble

"you're not going to fail if you take a break every once in a while, doll" the super solider was trying to be caring and deep down you appreciated how much he cared but at that moment taking a break, even one as short as half and hour, sounded like missed opportunities to finish homework or cram in extra study for mocks

truth be told clint probably wasn't the best person to go and break down to but he was the first person you could get to "honey, you need to calm down"  when you definitely didn't calm down but instead started gagging he panicked and truly thought about calling your mama but he knew you'd feel guilty about pulling her away from her mission even though she would do so in a heartbeat

"f.r.i.d.a.y, can you call tony up here?"

"yes, mr barton, mr stark is on his way"

in almost no time at all tony had appeared in your bedroom and he instantly sprung into action "sweetie.." he knelt down in front of you "look at me" the billionaire's voice stayed soft as he tapped your knee to get your attention

"there we go" he praised as your watery eyes met his "how about five things you can see?"

"y- you" you took a deep breath without even realising "my- my desk, my light.. my duvet and clint" both men where impressed with how fast you managed to wind yourself back in

however, truth be told your mum was the one to thank, she had always been good with helping you find 'cool downs' and advised mental aids

you had just calmed down from a recent panic attack and were currently in nat's arms whilst she held you close and gently ran her fingers through your hair

"i'm always here for you, okay?" she whispered into your ear "even if it's not physically, i've always got you in my arms, that's all you've got to remember. just think about me holding you like this"

that's how you calmed down at such a fast pace you just imagined that you were indeed in your mother's arms

"four things you can feel?" a small smile shone on tony's face as your breathing improved, the focus was now on your shaking "my ha- ir, your hands, my blanket a- nd my glasses"

you needed a hug, it was a great help imagining that you were in your mum's arms but it wasn't great when the last hurdle of calming your body was pressure

"three things you can-" tony went to ask again but you interpreted him

"can i have my weighted blanket please?" before either of the men in the room could even move to go and get it, your door carefully opened to reveal your favourite person, holding said blanket

"thank you boys, i've got her now" with that they both left not even questioning how she knew that you needed her

once they left she crawled into the other side of your bed, under the covers "come here, detka" she cooed

as you cuddled into her embrace you could feel her drape the weighted blanket over you

"i'm sorry" you whispered once you took time to figure out that the person you were cuddling should currently be on a undercover mission

"shh, you've got nothing to be sorry for" the redhead pulled your body closer to hers and let your head rest in the crook of her neck "i'm sorry for taking so long to get back"

"how did you know?"

"mother's intuition?" she said almost like a question "that and pepper rang me" honestly you weren't surprised that pepper found out and proceeded to call your mother knowing you needed her but wouldn't ask

"you're my top priority, no mission is more important than you" with that she held you closer, snuggling her head into your hair whilst you let your head rest on her chest, your cheek resting on the soft material of the hoodie that you got for her on her birthday last year

"always you"

—-

this is absolute shite, i'm sorry
i found the first part in my drafts and yeh..