The handyman can

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Kim is not prepared for the turn the day takes. For a second he suspected that Porchay told Kinn and Porsche what he had done to him and Kinn made him come along to make him suffer. But his brother is really oblivious and just being an overbearing power hungry asshole when he orders him to drive the truck to Porchay's house and help unload it. Neither is there any scheming behind his words, when he asked Kim to teach Porchay how to use the tools. Kinn is not like their father or Kim himself, he rarely plots and schemes and carries his heart on his sleeve. He loves Porsche and therefore wants to help Porchay out. It must be nice to be able to afford such weakness.

Seeing Porchay again is terrifying, because Kim does not know what awaits him. He is surprised when Porchay pretends that they don't know each other and even talks to him a bit.

Porchay looks different from the way he did months ago, when Kim saw him at the club; he's outgrown the baby fat, is taller, more build, the teenage rebellion has left his eyes. He's still Porchay though: fluffy, warm, soft and beautiful. Porchay reminds Kim of these movies where people snuggle together under a blanket in front of a fireplace, and drink hot chocolate with marshmallows while snowed in somewhere cold and awful. He still gets this feeling from him, even just standing in front of him as Porchay talks to kinn about tools and home renovations. Kim wants to reach out and touch him, wrap him in a hug and bask in his warmth and have his beautiful eyes look at him again, but he knows he has ruined it.

He never got a reply to the video in which he bared his soul in a song. Porchay blocked him before and Kim suspects that he blocked the new number he sent the video from as well; he didn't have the courage to try it, so he doesn't know. He stared at his phone for days, weeks, trying to hypnotise it to show some sort of message from Porchay. He slept fitfully, ate little and was careless and ruthless when he went out to work for the family. He hit rock bottom when he nearly tortured an innocent old woman to death, whose eyes reminded him a little too much of Porchay's when she finally opened them, acceptance of her death in them. He stopped, called an ambulance and paid for all of her treatments and debts in cash before he called his manager and begged her to arrange a tour for Wik abroad. He needed to be Wik for a while to get away from it all.

He took the phone with him, but only allowed himself to check it once a day. He still does, but he knows now that Porchay is done with him.

During the drive to Porchay's house with Kinn beside him silently staring out the window, Kim decides that he has to accept two facts as truth: one, that Porchay is done with him and two, that he can't erase Porchay from his life, because of their brothers. No matter how much it hurts, there will be occasions when he is going to run into Porchay. They will have to be civil to one another and it doesn't matter that his heart breaks.

Not seeing the younger man does not prepare Kim for how to be around him now, in this new undefined capacity. And so when Kinn asks him to teach Porchay - what a 'screw you' from the universe that he has to tutor Porchay once more - he accepts. He is going to treat this like a training exercise in self control in being around the one he loves but can never have, because he fucked it up.

The trip back to the compound to drive the truck back is used for breathing exercises. He simply leaves the truck in front of the main entrance, throws the key to one of the guards and then drives himself over to his own apartment on his bike. He gets changed in old jeans and a faed white T-shirt. His father would be ashamed and angry to see him like this. He also digs some old converse out of his closet, the ones he bought for his first day at university and then only wore once, because going on a killing spree afterwards with light blue cloth shoes is not a good idea; leather is harder, endures more and blood can be simply wiped off without leaving stains.