The handyman can

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It is incredibly satisfying to hammer away at a wall with a large sledgehammer, Kim finds, as he and Porchay are doing exactly that to tear down the wall separating the kitchen from the dining and living room. They finished the floor in the living room the day before and now it's time to continue the destruction, just not with care but with total violence. And violence is something Kim excels at.

The therapeutic part surprises him though. It is fun to do this with Porchay and it helps him get rid of the tension that he has been feeling since yesterday, when Porchay had suddenly started asking questions about his lack of bodyguards and had admitted he saw the video Kim sent him. Emotions are uncomfortable for Kim when he experiences feeling them in front of others. Of course, he has them and of course he feels them, but usually he does so in the solitude of his apartment, where he can fall apart far away from anyone else and no one will ever find out. Wik's emotions are fake past a certain point and as Kimhan he is not allowed to feel anything. Feeling so much and opening himself up in front of Porchay led to Kim nearly having a panic attack in front of him. He still feels shame prickle up the back of his neck and behind his eyes when he thinks about it. He hits a bit harder, taking out a large chunk of the wall.

On the upside, Porchay held him and was there for him. It felt so good to be close to him again. It is dangerous though, he could get attached and Porchay hasn't made up his mind yet about them. If Kim gets used to Chay's presence, his comfort and his gentle touches and then Porchay will decide that being friends or acquaintances only is what he wants, Kim is not sure he will be able to recover from it.

He glances at the younger man beside him and Porchay must feel his eyes on him, because he turns his head and their eyes meet.

"Feels great, huh?" Porchay laughs, his face alight with delight and Kim gets swept away by the same emotion.

"Yes!" He yells back and laughs loudly as he slams the sledge hammer back into the wall. They keep laughing and hammering until the wall crumbles and there's only a pile of rubble, plaster and wires left on the floor.

"God... I need a break... I am not trained enough for this," Porchay pants and wipes the sweat off his face with the hem of his shirt, exposing his surprisingly toned stomach for a moment. The view shoots straight to Kim's groin. It's rare for him to be aroused by something so trivial as a glimpse at someone's stomach. Most of the time even seeing someone fully naked does nothing for Kim. That's why he prefers his own fantasies and his own touch to other people. Porchay, of course, has to be the exception once more. Is this what loving someone does to people? Make them not only love them and become weak, but also desire them beyond reason?

"You want some water?" Porchay snaps him out of his thoughts and holds a bottle out to him.

"Sure," Kim takes it and follows Porchay out to the patio where the cooler wind provides some relief for their overheated bodies and Kim subtly adjusts himself in his pants.

"You know what I'm craving now?"

"If you say a smoke I'mma smack you, man," Kim replies and earns himself an eye-roll for the overly 'bro' kind of tone.

"A beer," Porchay clarifies and makes Kim chuckle.

"I wasn't too far off then. Category is 'Stuff you'd get in trouble for with your brother'," he teases him a bit more.

"My brother and I talked about it. I'm allowed to have beer, even though he hates me smoking."

"It's weird isn't it? It tastes like crap, we know it's bad for us and still all of us smoke."

"I quit - mostly. I never really got into the habit. It was just when I was hanging out with my friends at the club."

"For most of us it's stress relief. Pretty much the only one that you can get and that is allowed when on a mission." Kim offers his own explanation.