AFTER THE DARK| Lupin comfort |

A Dream or a Memory

(A/N sorry I haven't uploaded in a long time, had a lot school work and family issues )

Y/N Pov:
He's coming closer and closer. I can't run away, because It's a dead end. I'm hiding behind a trash bag but I know he sees me. I can do nothing. He grabs my hair so I can't get away. I try everything I can to get away. I'm scared.! Please someone...someone help me..!

Remus pov:
I see them flinching and mumbling in their sleep. "I'm scared..! Please help me..!" Or something like that. I'm worried about them and wake them up. They shoot up in tears. I can see the panic and fear in their eyes. "Shh Shh It's alright, you're safe with me now." I say trying to calm them.

Y/N pov:
I'm crying. I hug Remus and he hugs me back. He smells like  chocolate, books,  coffee and tea at the same time, and a little bit of cinnamon. It's so comfortable. I don't want let go, so I don't. Nor does he. He gently rubs circles on my back. "I-I'm sorry.." I sob. "Shh..you have nothing to apologise for." He says.

I feel dirty again. So dirty. He made me dirty. Even though it happened years ago. I need to get this feeling off, I need to cut.
"Are you alright, my dear?" He asked worriedly.
"Y-yeah I just need to got to the bathroom quickly.!" I lie. He looks at me suspiciously but nods.
   
In the last stall is 2 blades left. I'm almost running in the bathroom. I go in the last stall. Grab one of the blades, the dirtier one. I'm saving the clean one for the time. The last time.
Now I have the blade on my scarred skin. There's not much room. I do ten to twenty of horizontal cuts on my arms. I do couple on my stomach and thighs. But I still feel so dirty. I do one deep vertical cut on my left hand. Shit. I have never went this deep. It hurts so freaking bad and I hate it but I love it at the same time.
     I look at my arms. Completely destroyed and bloody. My stomach. Also bloody. My thighs? Yeah, they're bloody as hell too.
When I take a look at the vertical cut. I only see red. My whole upper arm is completely covered in blood. There's blood everywhere. It's all jiggly and clotted.

       I take my jacket and try to stop the bleeding. I stop. I throw the jacket away. The blood is taking all the dirt with it away. Why should I stop it and leave me all dirty? There I sit, Daydreaming until I hear a gentle knock. "Y/n? I'm worried, it's been 10 minutes." Fuck. It's Remus. I have only little power left and I only whisper imsososososorry and pleaseforgivemeimsorry.
He tries to open the door but it's locked. ALOHOMORA he sounds scared. When he opens the door and sees me there, on the floor leaning on the wall, he looks terrified. He takes off his robe and presses it on the vertical cut. imsosososorrypleasedon'thateme I can't say it but I think. He lifts me up and rushes out. "Dear please keep your eye open, we're almost there." He says to me but I can't, I feel so tired. I try but can't stop them closing.

  I wake up in someones couch. My vision is blurry and I'm really dizzy. "Where the hell am I..?" I say to myself. Someone rushes over me but my vision is still blurry so I don't recognise who it is. "Y/n dear, I was so worried about you." Now I recognised the voice, it's Remus. I'm so embarrassed.  I don't know what to do so I just sob. "Oh Y/n.." He says worriedly and hugs me.