Flumptober/Morrotober 2022

Prompt 11: Inspired by a song

I've never done a songfic before, so this is a new experience for me!  

AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  SO MANY CHOICES!!!

*Randomly picks one and tries to do it quickly, which I know will take much longer anyway...*

Here we gooo..!!!

*Watch out, watch out,

It's Kai!

Kai swaggers down the street, feeling confident on account of his newly-applied hair gel.

"Watch out, it's your favorite ninja of FI-YAAAAAAAAA!!!"  He sings out.

*I've got it all and I'm gettin' more
But I never fall, beat 'em all
'Cause you know I'm so humble
I'm so humble, I'm so humble

He nearly trips over a stray paint can randomly left in the middle of the sidewalk for some reason, but he catches himself just in time.  Kai brushes the nonexistent dust off of his gi and grins.  "It's a good thing I'm so fast, light on my feet, and modest, too.  It scares even me sometimes."

*I'm a superstar, I kick down the door
Got the money and the girls
And I'm also so humble
I'm so humble
I'm so humble, I'm so humble

He flips open a pair of dark shades and places them on his head, winking and pointing finger guns at his reflection.  The clerks (who are conveniently all girls for the purpose of this songfic) inside the bank all squeal with delight as he roundhouse-kicks the door in, saunters into their fine establishment, and asks for ten whole dollars.

"In small bills, please, if you don't mind, Darling."  

The clerk immediately faints like a true Kai fangirl, and the others immediately clamber to serve him instead.

"AAAHH!!!  YOU'RE SO AMAZING, KAI!!!"  One screeches.

Kai waves his hand dismissively.  "No, I'm just an amazingly handsome average-looking guy.  But thanks, Doll."  He blows her a kiss, and she instantly grows woozy with joy.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I've still got stuff to do."  And with that, he moves on to his next destination.

*Bar none, I am the most humble-est
Number one at the top of the humble list
My apple crumble is by far the most crumble-est
But I act like it tastes bad outta humbleness

Kai arrives at an apple crumble factory further along the street.

"HA!  I can do better than this!"  He exclaims, and immediately gets to work.  An hour later, a perfectly-baked crumble is laid out on the factory's sill to cool, the aromatic steam summoning the infamous Fugi-Dove.

"That looks delicious!"  The feathered felon shouts elatedly, and Kai offers him a piece.  

"It may not be as good as you think it will be.  It probably is, though."

Fugi-Dove's eyes light up as he tastes it.  "S'good!"  He declares.

"I knew it would be."

*The thing about me that's so impressive
Is how infrequently I mention all of my successes
I pooh-pooh it when girls say that I should model
My belly's full from all the pride I swallow