The Second Heartbreak

Chapter two.

VANESSA

"Let's just make this as easy as we can for each other, we only talk to each other if we have to and just stay out of each others way" I said while signing into the till barely looking at him, "well thats going to be a bit hard considering I'm shadowing you and you're training me" Alex says while letting out a small chuckle, God just that familiar small chuckle made butterflies zoom around inside of my stomach, I hate the fact he still has this affect on me after all this time. "You know what I mean stop being a smart-ass Alex" I roll my eyes at him, with his head down he mumbles "fuck, I've missed the way you say my name" "what did you just say?" I asked in confusion "nothing I just said cool whatever" Alex said bluntly. 

It's lunch now and I just finished showing Alex how to use the till and can confirm he still has the attention span of a two year old which just irritated me even more. I didn't have time to make lunch today because I was late which happens too often, I honestly think my whole pay check just gets spent at the Mexican food place just opposite, I'm ok with that though because its definitely worth it. I was rudely snapped out of my Mexican food thoughts when Alex swings open the locker a couple of doors down from mine huffing and puffing looking at his phone, I know I shouldn't but curiosity got the best of me and I asked him what's wrong, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about him anymore because I think I will forever, which makes me hate him but makes me hate myself even more after everything that happened and how he left me broken into a million pieces that I barely even put back together, just thinking about it brings back all the emotions I felt, I had trained my mind to forget about it, about him, about everything because even the thought of it brings pain and it just hurts so much.

"Nothing, not that it would be your business anyways, what happened to only talking to each other if we have to Vanessa" Alex snapped, Ok ouch that was harsh, using my own words against me even though I was just trying to be nice, but when he said my name I felt a familiar feeling creeping up on me which I'm trying to push away, he hasn't called me by my name since that night which for some reason is all I can think about today and it's killing me. "Ok Alex, I was trying to be nice but I guess I wont be doing that again" I sighed, he looked up at me while putting his phone is his pocket and said "I'm sorry I snapped just a lot of shit going on right now, what are you doing for lunch?" He's sorry? Wow that's a first, two years ago that would've been music to my ears even if it wasn't for everything he did to me, I feel sorry for the girl I was back then. "I'm going to the Mexican place just opposite, what are you doing" I asked, "Oh how could I forget how much you like a burrito bowl, mind if I join I wouldn't mind getting one myself to be honest" Alex said and the words 'mind if I join' made my stomach do a double somersault, he still remembers my love for a burrito bowl, the thought of him remembering small things about me made me feel warm inside and I hate that he still has that affect on me. I know I shouldn't but for some reason I blurt out something along the lines of "oh um yeah um sure um yeah I don't mind", He smiles and starts to walk towards the back door and I follow. Wow Vanessa you absolute idiot, he randomly pops up in your life again and after everything you're going to lunch with him, fucking brilliant, he's right what the fuck happened to staying out of each others way, we couldn't be more in each others way right now if we tried. 

We walk through the glass doors of Fernando's after asking Lydia if she wanted anything, she of course said no and continued to then ask how I haven't turned into a burrito bowl because I eat them so much and she doesn't know how I do it, which made Alex and I laugh, she's one of the people that you just hate to love. I'm greeted by Fernando himself in his red and orange themed restaurant which is nice since we have grown to being friends since I'm here so much. He has a small pop belly and short grey hair that's slicked back with gel and his grey and white beard looks newly trimmed. I order my usual pulled beef with all the toppings I could possibly get except the cooked peppers because I absolutely hate them, I had to watch Fernando closely because every time he always tries to sneak a few in without me looking because he apparently gets a kick out of me making a funny face every time I taste one, I can't complain though he always compensates with a big bag of free chips, a win's a win I suppose but at the cost of the disgusting taste of peppers. Alex orders the chicken burrito bowl with no onions, salsa, jalapeños but extra peppers and obviously the rest of the regular toppings, what a weirdo, extra peppers? That's criminal. We sit down at a booth with our trays and I say "extra peppers? I thought you hated them," he replies "No you hated them so I never brought them, ate them or cooked with them." I looked up at him with a sad look on my face and just sat there as he just started to open his bag of chips and mix together his bowl, "are you gonna eat or just watch me" he chuckles and snaps me out of my trance, fuck I'm just staring at him aren't I, "I know you love watching those eating YouTube videos but please don't just sit there and watch me while your food gets cold" he says with that stupid smirk on his face. I just roll my eyes and start to tuck into my food thinking about how he remembers that I love watching people eat on YouTube.

There's tension between us that I cant quite decipher, well obviously what happened happened but I'm past that and by the looks of it he is too. He keeps checking his phone and I'm starting to wonder what's on it thats so important that he needs to keep checking it. He was never on his phone that much back when I was with him 2 years ago but I guess time changes people, maybe the reason he's on it so much is also the reason he was huffing and puffing earlier at the lockers, I push the thoughts away because it doesn't concern me, we are just colleagues now. Thats it. I stand and take my tray over to the bin and used tray section and he follows, we clean off our rubbish and head towards the door but Fernando quickly calls me over to the counter and I tell Alex to just wait outside and I will be out in just a second. "Who's that boy then Nessa, a date?" Fernando asks with a smirk plastered over his face, "urm no, he's just a new guy at work, I'm just being nice showing him the best place to grab some lunch on his break" I say with a smile trying my best to hide the fact that when he asked me if he was my date my heart skipped a beat, Fernando of course has Nessa privileges because he's probably one of my closest friends at this point, which is quite sad now come to think of it, "I can feel the tension between you two Nessa, I see everything remember" Fernando carries on, " I know, I know but it's nothing, you're probably just picking up on him being overwhelmed at all of the training and me being stressed out because I'm the one training him" I try to lie, "Ok Nessa, whatever you say but I know there's more to it, I'll find out soon" he chuckles, "yeah, yeah I'll most likely see you tomorrow anyway Nando" I say while making my way to the glass double doors, "Nessa how many time do I have to tell you not to call me that, you will be getting extra peppers tomorrow" Fernando shouts to me while letting out a faint laugh. I just smile at him and wave as I walk out and I meet Alex outside, he's just on his phone anyways and he barely even acknowledged me but I just say "lets go" and he follows me to make our way back over to the shop to finish off the rest of our shifts.