i. internalized agony !

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" cloudy wintertime
lovers now torn in one half
the craze has begun "


"master muzan, you have a visitor." muzan's butler, tamotsu shinohara, smiled and bowed.

"is it some other doctor to try and falsely raise my hopes? if so, i don't want him here." muzan crossed his arms in annoyance. wishing that [name] was here to help him out with tamotsu's antics.

"...you... are correct, but please allow him a chance!" tamotsu frowned deeply and pleaded with his master. for some reason, he had a good feeling about this doctor. he was well versed in the universe of medicine, so perhaps he could cure muzan's illness.

"did you not hear my orders? dismiss him at once." muzan responded with a scoff. his butler was really pushing his buttons, but he must hold his anger.

"...please...do it for [name]." tamotsu gave a slight smile as he watched his master's face shift into just a small look of happiness. despite it, muzan made no effort in responding. his butler was making that statement on purpose to persuade him... and it was 100% working. muzan dropped the happy look and sighed at his butler's actions.

"if it is for [name], then i will agree. allow him entrance." muzan sent a glare towards tamotsu that he completely missed due to his oblivious with joy.

"very well, master." though he spoke with little emotion, he was very grateful at his master's acceptance.

"please drink this, sir." the doctor pleaded with muzan. he only stared in disgust as he watch the blue-tinted liquid swirl in the wooden cup. many thoughts crowded his head as his eyes watched his reflection in the liquid. he then begrudgingly drank it. it was awful...

"i don't feel any better." he angrily glared at this 'doctor.' he did not trust him at all, but he had just a slice of hope as he always does. he knows it's dumb since no one has heard of this disease, so why have any hope? but [name] was always there to comfort him when he delved into those thoughts. he could imagine their smile at this very moment, in fact.

"ah, do give it a day or two to settle in." the doctor smiled warmly at the boy. muzan then dismissed him and tamotsu escorted the doctor out. muzan laid back down and stared at the ceiling. the only two thoughts in his mind was 'will this work?' and 'if it does, what will [name] think?' he shook the thoughts off and decided to sleep.

as muzan began to make himself comfortable on his futon again, however, as soon as he did, the door slid open with great force. he abruptly sat up on his futon accidentally straining his body in the process. he began to fall into a fit of coughing. the figure who had almost ripped the door off its rails was none other than his mother, nao. she quickly ran to his aid and tried to soothe his coughing fit. she rubbed his back in a circle, hoping to calm him. as his coughing died down, she frowned. nao knew this information would be hard to deliver to her son because he truly loved [name].

"son, [name] has... been declared dead."

"what."

muzan completely broke after nearing the news of his love's passing. so much that he began to have spouts of uncontrollable anger. nothing could soothe him other than knocking him out cold. his parents wept and wept, praying that a miracle would come and save them from their monstrous son. they no longer affiliated themselves with him, no longer checking in on him, and no longer remaining so much as 8 feet from him. though out of the blue, the outbursts stopped. he just completely stopped. his parents wept, but this time with joy, thinking their prayers had been answered. they noticed their son became a hobbit, straying as far away as he could from the outside, also that occasionally, a maid or two would disappear. they paid no mind as long as he stopped, they didn't care. perhaps some heavenly light shined upon him and caused him to change his ways.

however, they were wrong. very wrong.

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