Jason's Journey

A Rowdy Reunion

When I come back to the conscious world, I am greeted by the feeling of an unyielding grip on one of my legs as I stretch out in every direction. I rub the sleep from my closed eyes and crack an eye open and see Alysa holding my leg with a wipe in hand.

It is so very weird that I can sleep through that. I sigh. I guess I really am stuck like this in some weird alternate reality that I have to assume is being conjured up by my brain. If this is like a coma dream, I really hope this is over soon. I shut my eyes tight and pray that the doctors can wake me up soon.

When I open my eyes again, I notice that Alysa already looks put together. She has on a nice blue dress, and her hair is pulled back into a really neat bun. I smell her floral perfume, and she even has on makeup today. Oh, yeah, she did say we were going places today. Yay us.

Alysa whisks me away to the bathroom and sits me on the counter. I see her pulling a small toothbrush and kid toothpaste from a drawer, and I cringe in anticipation of what's coming. I was hoping we would skip this and just have breakfast first or something. Of course, I don't have to wonder if I'm going to get the opportunity to brush my own teeth. Nope, I know better than that by now.

"Alright, it's time to get your teeth all sparkly and clean," she says. I watch her squirt the paste, and my body unconsciously leans away from something I know isn't going to be fun. But Alysa is already on top of that and slides me closer to the sink.

Alysa holds my chin with a grip firm enough that I can't turn or wiggle away even if I tried really hard. "Jason, say ahh."

I mumble, "No," under my breath and avert my eyes.

"Tut, Tut, Tut" she taps the tip of the toothbrush on my nose with a jovial but serious expression on her face. "Is Jason being a grumpy little boy this morning?"

I lock eyes with her, and I don't miss the warning tone in her voice. I know I have one last chance to back down before she uses Mr. Tickles to coerce me into submission, and it's too early in the morning for tickling to feel like anything but pure torture.

I pout. "No," and I bring myself to follow her instruction, "Ahh."

"Good boy," she praises and gets straight to work. She thoroughly cleans every tooth in my mouth, and I barely get a chance to breathe let alone spit. Only when I whine and try to wiggle away from her does she relent and give me a break. I spit and reach for the cup on the other side of the sink to rinse, but instead Alysa turns me back toward her for a second round.

After about 40 more seconds, I have had enough, and I know I have reached the limit of what I can take. I feel the anger beginning to boil in my chest, and my ears are getting hot. I think Alysa somehow senses it too. She stops abruptly, leans me over the sink to spit and even holds the cup up for me to rinse my mouth.

As usual, when I think she's done, I'm wrong. She takes me chin in her hand again and this time runs a wet rag all over my face. God, people treat kids so horribly. She didn't even warn me or anything. How do kids take this day after day? I can't believe this is the shit I've got to look forward to when I wake up for however long I keep waking up like this.

She starts on my hair, and I'm grateful the assault on my face is finally over with. It's not that I don't enjoy a clean palate and fresher breath, but that whole experience was so oddly invasive and made me feel too much like a brainless brat. Brushing your own teeth is like tying your own shoelaces. Those are the daily activities that make you feel independent even when you're still a kid. Now, I don't even get that.

Alysa makes quick work of my hair, whisks me to the kiddie room and sits me next to a pile of clothes she has pre-arranged on the couch. She pulls a light blue polo shirt over my head and slips me into some khaki shorts. I also get some white socks and brown shoes. As if she remembered at the last second, she stretches over to grab a bottle of baby powder and squirts a puff under my shirt. Lotion is also rubbed into my elbows, arms, knees and legs. This lady is so meticulous about getting me ready that you'd swear I was a child actor getting ready to go on set or something.