Yours Eternally

Chapter 3

I didn't want to admit to myself that I was too comfortable when I woke. I hadn't slept so well in weeks, and to find myself intertwined with Dimitri, I didn't want to leave the bed. Looking up at him he had his eyes closed, and I wondered if he was in a doze. I rested my head back on the pillow and let myself become aware of my body. Even in sleep, and even after what happened in the kitchen, Dimitri still held me gently, his hands resting on my shoulder and the small of my back.

I could feel my toes pressed against his shins, and I could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest in perfect time with mine. I could feel that my anger had subsided considerably and my chest didn't ache so much.

I knew that to a degree my anger wasn't justified, but it was hard to let go of it. I wanted to be angry at him, but I knew that deep down he did all of these things with my best interest at heart.

I chickened out of submitting all of my applications, and he submitted them for me, not wanting me to miss out on the opportunities because of what my mom said. He knew what I was capable of and had more faith in me than I did.

Dimitri's hand on my shoulder started to move, his fingertips brushing over my shoulder blade.

"Your thoughts are very loud," he said with his eyes closed.

"Sorry," I said meekly, "I didn't realize I had let my barriers down."

Dimitri nodded his head. "You can't keep your barriers up when you're in REM sleep. I would keep mine up out of respect. But last night it was too loud to block out," Dimitri said quietly, his voice just above a whisper. I rolled enough so I could look at the clock and found that it was still early. I rolled back towards him and rested my head back on the pillow, looking up at him when he shifted.

"I'm sorry if my thoughts upset you," I said meekly, knowing that I wouldn't be able to filter what he heard.

"It's okay. I understand why you're angry and upset. It's justified. I did make choices without your consent, but I never did them to be malicious. I only want the best for you."

I nodded and rubbed my eyes. "What happened that night?"

Dimitri knitted his brows together. "What do you mean?"

"When I died. What happened?"

Dimitri's arms tightened around me and he rested his cheek on the top of my head. I could feel the flicker of sorrow in him before he cut the emotion off.

"It was unbearable," he whispered, "The moment I realized you were dead, it was like my chest was burning from the inside out. It felt like someone had stabbed an ice pick into my chest. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. All I could think about was that I lost you, and in that minute, I didn't want to be here any longer. I would have rather died and taken your spot."

I absently reached up and rubbed at my chest, feeling an echo of that burn. Dimitri lifted his head so that I could look at him and he reached for the hand rubbing at my chest. He held it gently and squeezed it.

"Ya'aburnee," Dimitri whispered. Hearing him say the phrase I had said the first time I told him I loved made my heart stutter a beat. His pronunciation was off, muffled by his accent, but I couldn't help but love hearing it come from his mouth.

"Ya'aburnee," I whispered back, resting my head against his chest, and wrapping my arm around his waist. Dimitri pulled me tight against him and kissed my forehead.

"You don't have a reason to be jealous of Ellison," I said, "He's just a friend."

"Eddie is just a friend," Dimitri replied immediately and I raised my brows at him.