Opposites Attract ~ Rosa Diaz x Reader

8 - Holt's Birthday Party

"Everyone check your emails. The greatest thing that could ever happen has just happened" Amy said to everyone. "The girl who beat you for high school valedictorian died?" Jake asked, sitting down.  "No, 'Kevin Cozner requests your presence at Raymond's Birthday Party'" She reads.

"Who's Kevin Cozner? Is he the star of 'Danzes with Wolvez'" Jake asked. "He's Captain Holt's husband" I said. "Captain Raymond Holt" Rosa explained to Jake. "We're invited to the Captains Birthday party" I finished.

"Oh the Captain's party and whatnot" Jake smiled and turned to his computer. "I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house" Amy said happily, "I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him." "Yeah 'cause I'm sure he'll love that" I said.

"I bet it's real fancy, like Beauty and the Beast fancy" Charles said. "Nah it's probably just an empty white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode" Jake said. 

"Apparently my husband Kevin has invited you all to my party" Holt says, walking over to us, "There is very little street parking, no gifts, no singing of 'Happy Birthday'. Should be fun." "Sounds fantastic!" Amy called out as Holt went into his office. 

"Did you hear that? His husband invited us not him" Jake said, "he so doesn't want us there." "Yes he does!" Amy protested. "Mm, it was kind of a last minute invite" Gina said, "just stirring the pot." "Why wouldn't Holt want us there?" Charles asked.  

"Because he thinks we're going to embarrass him in front of his husband, which , frankly, is insulting" Jake said standing up causing his bowl to spill over, "aw man, all the orange soda spilled out of my cereal."

~

"Bam!" Jake exclaimed, slamming a box onto the table in the break room, "behold, my secret weapon for winning over Kevin! In this box is every grisly crime the nine-nine has worked in the past eight years. Civilians love juicy cop stories."

We all went to look through the box and Jake says, "Oh I call that murder where they strung fishing wire through three guys." "Hey, we solved that together!" Amy said. "Well though tetris I called it" Jake said.

"Also I've loaded all my favourite karaoke backing tracks onto my phone. Kevin and I will be duetting 'Rolling in the Deep'!" "That's it, emergency squad meeting. Briefing room, two minutes" Terry said angrily walking away.

~

"Uh adult parties?" Jake said reading what Terry wrote on the board, "uh sir I think they're called orgies. No look five." "I met my wife at an orgy" Scully said, "well she was leaving an orgy and we bumped into each other on the street. Real meet cute."

"Thank you for exhibiting exactly why this meeting is necessary" Terry said, "everyone here needs some instruction on acting with grown-ups." "Uh Terry?" I said putting up my hand slightly, "I don't think I need this I've been to many, many 'adult parties' when I was younger." "Yeah Sargent, why am I here too? I'm always appropriate. In high school I was voted 'Most appropriate'" Amy said proudly.

"Ooh self-burn, those are rare" Jake said, pointing to Amy. "I shouldn't be here either, I'm fine at parties I just stand there in the middle of the room and don't say anything" Rosa said. 

"Here are the rules" Terry said, ignoring us, "no staring at you phone, no rolling in two hours late, no sweatpants, no jeans and no shorts." "What about dress up shorts? For instance the kind Jen Aniston might wear?" Gina asked. 

"No, those are still shorts. No shorts" Terry said again, "and everyone bring a bottle of wine." "Why are there so many rules? Next thing you're gonna say is that we can't be late" Jake scoffed.