Alpine

Gambit 2 - Ebb

I took the conversation I had with Ryan seriously. It was the reality check I had been craving. Ryan could not see the darkness that I saw, but we both knew Switch's behavior was an act. We both wanted the lies to stop. I bought Ryan the gift certificate. It still felt impersonal, so I taped it to a new, shark-shaped squish toy along with a note apologizing for not reading his emails in their entirety before. I put it in his cubicle desk's drawer one morning when I was the first one in. It felt weird to hide a thank you gift, but what choice did I have?

Naturally, I did what I promised: reading Ryan's emails and responding with whatever details I could provide. I told Ryan when Switch woke up and went to bed. Which nights he was in versus out. Whether it sounded like he had someone over or not.

Some part of me questioned whether this counted as stalking Switch. It was clear that he wanted me to have that information though. He wanted to infringe on my mental space in every capacity. I might as well put it to good use. The degree to which I was rationalizing my bizarre behavior to accommodate for him is obvious to me now. Back then, it felt like I was reacting sensibly to the situation I was presented with.

Those sensible reactions also included less and less time on my balcony. The cherry smoke smell had become a permanent fixture there. I still went out to check on Charlie, but I enjoyed my coffee sitting on the plastic chair behind the safety of the glass door. It was not the same. I was lamenting that fact the morning I made a terrible decision.

The day in question was about a week and a half after Ryan screamed at Switch. I was done with the final iteration of the security protocols for Alpine. That meant it was time to start talking safety. We had scheduled a full team meeting with Boss first thing that morning. Boss was nothing like Switch, but he intimidated me a bit. I tend to associate big, bald guys in suits with bad things. I know what baggage that is attached to, and there is no reason to get into it here.

Anyway, Boss had one of those commanding "listen to me" voices that boomed out over everyone else's. I was impressed that a southerner could have that kind of volume. It seemed at odds with his smooth accent, but in a good way. The accent softened a voice that would otherwise come off as yelling. Deep down, I think he was an okay guy. Still, his presence made me nervous.

I wanted to make sure I had everything in order, so Boss would have no reason to single me out. Especially since Dave was in the habit of answering questions for me even when I knew the answer. That was the one thing about Dave I did not admire. So, I had prepared as many shorthand answers on one sheet of notebook paper as I could fit. Hopefully, if I rapid-fire answered questions, it would prove to Dave and Boss that I could hold my own. I checked my notebook one last time to make sure the page was actually there and then packed it into my messenger bag.

I followed the stairs down. It seemed like Switch was uninclined to use a staircase if an elevator existed. Taking the stairs meant safety and got me some exorcise. A good combination. I left the building and walked to my car. As usual, my beat-up, black, economy 2-door was sitting to the right of to his shiny, sandy-tan 4-door. I made a point to park away from him after every workday. He made a point to move his vehicle next to mine during the night if the opportunity presented itself. It startled me the first few times, but now it was just a part of life.

Figuring out where to place my car so he could not end up next to mine had become its own sort of game. I discovered way too much about which cars preferably parked where and for how long. There were no assigned spots, but I got the feeling that the white car with the dog lover bumper sticker belonged to someone who had unofficially claimed the spot under the maple tree. I believed that person got upset when one of us took it. I did my best to avoid the spot. I think Switch got the same sense I did. Any time I got my car blocked off from him, if the maple tree spot was open, he inevitably ended up in it. In the long run, I sacrificed myself once or twice, parking where he could squeeze in next to me, to help the owner of the white car maintain sanity.