" You came " L.S.

3

Tw \\ Sh and ed.
____________

Sweaty body, rapidly breaths leaving his mouth, hands are slightly shaking
He looked around the dark place he's in trying to remember where he is
Took him a while to calm down, around 10-15 minutes
Took a bottle of water that was beside his bed, few sips before putting it away
He walked towards the door carefully opening the lights stepping outside the room
The apartment was dark and you can feel the loneliness that hug every single place in there
He walked towards the bathroom, he got inside, opening the lights as he looked into the mirror
New tears forming in his eyes
" So weak " even his voice was weak saying it.
He was so mad at himself, he was so frustrated of his weakness
He needed to do something.

[ Warning self harm mentioned ]

He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down a little so he won't do this
But..
He really needs to do it.
He looked around looking for some razors, he opened one of the drawers, grabbed one of them
Eyeing the metal, he puts it down and rolled his sleeve up, grabbed it again with his right hand
He felt the sharp edge on his skin
He's so eager to feel it
To be inside his skin
He didn't feel it when the metal entered his skin causing the blood to form around the razor so did on his skin.
He did it again, never enough.
3
4
5
Never enough.
He reached the 10th line, stopped counting.
The cuts weren't too deep, it was never deep enough.
He needs more
He rolled the other sleeve exposing healing cuts and half healing ones.
He needs to add some new ones one the right wrist.
The left wrist is already stinging
He groaned
10 on the other wrist.
He put the razor and looked at both hands
Inhaled sharply as he tracked every line
Every drop of blood.
" Such a failure Harry " he mumbled not daring to look at his reflection in the mirror..
He puts it back into the small box and then into the drawer
He took the first Aid kit, started to clean the new cuts, he groaned, burn.
He kept cleaning and took two bandages and start covering both wrists
Stings.
He cleaned the place from the cotton and other things

[ End of the action ]

He closed the lights and the door walking out of the bathroom, he walked to his room took his phone and went to the balcony
It was 5 in the morning, so early for a Sunday morning, he took a deep breaths looking at the city, he has a nice view
He decided it's a good idea to play a song
Maybe it wasn't..
Because Disappear by Eli is playing
Must be a joke, after all he's a joke ; he thought.
Eyes burring, he needs to sleep but he's too scared too
What if he had another nightmare ?
No he couldn't sleep not for now
Maybe walking in this early morning is a good idea
He went to his room to get dressed
He took his phone, headphones, wallet, and the key
Looked the door behind him as he made his way out
The building wasn't too fancy it was okay
Near to the place he works in
For now he works in a small cozy caffe, the place paid him so well so he stuck with this job for now
Very typical life he has
He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't feel the time or the freezing weather or the fact that he's standing at Louis' front door
He was shocked himself
He looked at his phone, it was 6:45 now
He eyed the door for a little thinking how the fuck he end up here
He knocked on the door, very light two knocks , no one.
He stayed there for 5 more minutes, he turned around to walk back, it's clearly a bad idea, knocking on Louis' door at 6 almost 7 in the morning
He walked away, small steps like there's something holding him back from leaving this place.
" Harry ? " raspy voice came from behind
Harry slowly turned around
Heart beating fast out of sudden.
" Harry are you alright ? " Louis asked as he slowly made his way towards Harry, leaving the door open
" Good morning Louis " Harry's voice was so quiet and low
" Harry, hey what's wrong, you need anything ? " Louis was worried
Harry showing up at his doorstep in this early morning..
" Harry let's go inside " Louis guide Harry into the small apartment
Clifford was sitting on the floor, eyes are open wide, watching who came
He's the one who woke Louis up after he heard Harry's knocking
" Here, sit down, I'll go make some tea "
Louis Informed Harry
Harry walked towards the couch, fluffy blanket took place on it
" Hello Cliff boy " Harry greeted him as he sat, as an answer Clifford barked
Louis came after couple of minutes, he placed the tray in front of them
" Here, take this " Louis handed the mug to Harry
" No sugar with light milk " he followed saying
" Thank you " he thanked him, Louis smiled at him
" So you wanna talk ? You seems off "
Louis said after the silence took of for a little
" about what ? " Harry asked looking towards the dog
" You don't look good, you're eyes are red so is your nose " Louis was concerned
" I'm good, I just had a bad dream " Harry said forcing himself to put of a soft smile so Louis won't know he's lying
" You know I can tell if you're lying " Louis teased him
He can't really but it was so obvious Harry wasn't good
" I'm not lying, I had a nightmare, woke up and took a walk, found myself in front of your door " Harry spoke as he took a sep of the tea
" Oh Harry, I'm thankful you came " Louis comforted him
Louis brought his hand and started circling on Harry's back
He kept doing that as he felt Harry's muscles relaxed, he smiled at that.
" Wanna tell me what was the dream about ? " Louis said carefully
Harry shrugged
Louis took it as a No
" It's okay if you don't want to " Louis told Harry
" I want you to know I'm here for "
That's really did hit Harry.
Even if Louis was lying Harry wanted to believe that.
He never had someone to tell him that they're here for him
He met Louis two days ago..
How could Louis care ?
But he wanted that, he felt nice
Good feelings he got around Louis
Harry prayed for this to work up without messing things up, like always.
" Harry do you hear me ? You zoned out a little " again, Louis is worried
This is not good for Harry.
" Yeah Louis I'm fine, thank you " he looked at Louis with a truth smile now
" I think I'm gonna go, I'm so sorry for showing up and waking you up " Harry gave him an apologetic smile
" No Harry stay, it's okay we can have a brekkie or sleep again or whatever you want " Louis told him
Harry looked at him, not really convinced
Louis was giving him a poppy eyes, trying his best to make Harry stay
" Please Harry " Louis said one last time
" Okay " Harry smiled at him, agreeing on staying
" Okay, what do you want to do ? " Louis asked as they sat down
" Can we lay on the couch and watch something ? " he asked politely
" Yes, Harry of course we can do that "
" What are we watching ? " Harry asked Louis
" Let it snow ?, how about that ? " Louis suggested
" Never watched it, put it on " Harry answered
" One minute " Louis told him as he get off the couch walking away
Louis went to his room, he grabbed one big fluffy blanket with a pillow and went back to the living room, he chose the movie as he placed the pillow and the blanket on the couch
Harry wasn't there so Louis thought he's maybe in the kitchen or the bathroom..
After 3 minutes Harry came back he kissed Clifford between his ears talking to him quietly with a smile on his face
Louis smiled at the two of them
" here, let's lay here " Louis grabbed Harry from the shoulder
Pushing him gently to lay on the couch
Harry laid there on his side leaving some space for Louis
Louis put Clifford on the other couch and then he went where Harry was
Louis laid beside him, his head on Harry's hand..
Harry's right hand wrapped around him
Louis was a nervous wreck by this action
He tried to play it cool and focus on starting the movie, he really did.
But he failed
" Play it " Harry whispered to Louis
And that what Louis did

Louis tried to stay wake but he end up falling asleep not even near the middle of the movie
On the other hand Harry was lost in his own mind, overthinking getting the best of him
He tried to bring himself back to the movie but it was too much for him
The scene form earlier was playing over and over again
Him relapsing wasn't the best thing to do today because now they are swallowed and stiffy
Louis' head next to them
He felt nauseous
He was so out of it he didn't realize how much time he spent thinking, the song that was playing brought him back to reality, the movie is a about to end..
Small buffs leaving Louis' mouth
His eyes wondered around the smaller boy, his facial features, eyes and his eyelashes
His small boobable nose
The small freckles that took a place on his cheek
" such a creep Harry " he thought to himself
Again he let his eyes wonder around the living room, the place looked really cozy and he wanted to stay there forever, just laying without doing anything, without worrying about life.