Trying To Heal

Chapter Twenty-One

April

Derek opens the door for me. I slide into the passenger seat, so pleasant that the reposing, sleek leather tries to wrench me deeper into it. It is one of those strange days that a sweater sweats the middle of brows and philtrum regardless of a wintry season.

I inspect the interior. "I have never seen this car before."

Derek lashes the seatbelt, pressing the recognition button that outlines numbers and symbols in yellow light. "This is new. I brought it last week. It is an electric Lamborghini Urus."

Expectedly black on the outside, the wheels outlined in gold that causes dusk, twilight, and day to quiver.

"You brought it?" I say, amazed. "Like, your family or anyone didn't help you?"

There is something so sensually and authentically attractive about that scar of his. Disfiguring his left cheek and crunching in a lavish, deep chortle. So prepossessing, so spirited. So disconsolate, so cogent. So deranged, so collected. It is a sign, the first-hand admonishment, to the thousands of other blemishes he has on his whole body. "No. This is with my own money."

"Damn," I say, and jokingly added, "What's your job?"

With one hand, he lazily drives out of my neighbourhood, his security vehicles enveloping us in a cage. "I know how to make money, my servant nevertheless." He slants his head in thought. "Before, when I found out Destiny used me for the money and fame, I was furious. Now, since I am secure in all areas intact, I realize I should not feel betrayed at such a thing." He shrugs. "I have no money to lose. I have nothing to lose, and everything to accomplish. A wealthy man should not have that kind of fear. It is worthless." His lips twist into a sinister, handsome grin. "I would rather love to spoil my lover."

I face the front. "Your lover," I say, "is lucky. Whoever that is."

"Yes," he confirms, trapped in thought. His Adam's apple bobs. "She is beyond lucky."

"I lost track of how many cars you have."

"And bikes," he adds. "What would you like? A car? A bike?"

"An Aston Martin," I muse.

"Good taste," he approves.

He wanted luxury cars first. He told me that Marlene was cautious and brought him a BMW second-handed car. She wanted him to be sensible. A test. After six months, his behaviour was credible enough to convince her to buy him a brand-new Lamborghini Aventador. The CEO of the company was planning to give it to Derek as a birthday gift, despite the late delivery, but Marlene paid three hundred thousand pounds anyway.

Lin brought an MV Agusta F4 Claudio for his seventeenth birthday. For his eighteenth birthday, Marlene's gift was a Bugatti Chiron Noire, Thomas Everston's was a Tesla Roadster, and Luke's was an Ecosse ES1 Spirit, a motorbike. Tanner got him three thousand books, which I am sure Derek will finish in a year.

Something bitter, sweet, and sad crumbles me. "You have everything."

The statement slices him in silence. He takes a minute to deliberate, the acknowledging truth flickering across his face. "No," he decides. "I do not."

"You do. You have the money."

"Even if I say money is not everything, it is everything for someone who lacks it. The second you attain it, you will realise that, yes, it covers everything of superficiality. Because if it does bring me everything, then I would have that one thing to make me happier. But I do not."

I hold his gaze, contemplating what he means. It seems foolish and dishonest of him. How could he not have something he wants?

I face the front again, deciding to let it go. At least he is self-aware and generally aware. He knows that green paper does mean a lot to those who have not grown up in it. And for some reason, that makes it so difficult to believe that a down-to-earth, grounded individual like him exists. I mean, you would expect Derek Matthews and his family to be Tories. They are, I remember. He told me a majority of them are obnoxious, ignorant elitists. Still, to know that he is the variant of that environment is hopeful. Society isn't as fucked up as it seems. There are good ones at the top of the ladder. It is a small group, and it is enough to overpower the rest. But it must happen with great confidence, assertiveness, and determination. It must happen when God knows the time is right.