Golgota (a science-fiction novel)

Chapter 19

Only they are left. Kovacs, Nakamura, Macey, Gleeson. And a boy named Parker.
Parker is shivering and sniffling. He cries out for his friend Nelson. Nelson has been eaten by the Ngoys. Amid swirling flakes and twitching lightning, they burst through Nelson's suit and bore into his flesh. None of them saw Nelson die.

But Parker can't stop talking about Nelson. Jacob Nelson. Jacob Nelson introduced Parker to the group. Nelson showed Parker how to receive Guu. Nelson is the only reason Parker has lasted this long.

The stories repeat themselves in Golgotha. They are all united by the same fate.
And yet Kovacs can find no words to comfort the sobbing young man. He knows there are no such words.

Macey puts an arm around Parker's shoulders, there, in the shelter of the cliffs, while the storm rages around them. This is the best Parker can get. He must go through his pain alone.
Parker is the only one left of his troop. All of his friends are dead.
Kovacs knows that it is not possible for him to feel that pain in the slightest.
Yes, Kovacs has seen many men die that he considered his friends. Yet they four are still alive. Kovacs, Nakamura, Macey and Gleeson.
Macey comes back to them. The light from his lamp blinds Kovacs. He can't make out Macey's face.

"How is he?" asks Nakamura.
"How do you think he's doing," Macey replies.

He leans back against the black rock next to Kovacs and slides down against it. Exhausted. His head slumps, he clasps his knees with his arms.
"All his friends are dead," he says quietly. "But we're still alive."
"That's Golgotha," Gleeson says. "He should consider himself lucky to be alive."
"Lucky?" says Macey. "You bet."
Macey's voice drips with bile.

"I love you guys," Kovacs says suddenly. He doesn't know what he's saying it for, but it's true. "I love all of you."
Nakamura looks at him. Gleeson looks at him. Macey looks up.
"It's true. I love you guys."

Nakamura takes a step toward him, almost as if to grab Kovacs by the arm and stop him from doing something very stupid. But he stops.
"Don't say that, Kovacs. It's stupid."

"Why?" asks Kovacs, anger breaking out in his voice. "Why is it stupid, Nakamura?"
"You won't survive long if you think like that!" shouts Nakamura. The anger in his voice chokes out any words of rebuttal in Kovacs' throat. "If you fall and the Ngoys pounce on you, I will not save you. Do you understand that? And if I fall, you will not save me. That's an order, Kovacs."
Nakamura takes a step back.
"We may be a group, but we are not friends. Understand?"

Kovacs can't move for a moment, but then he nods. "Understood."
"Good."
They remain silent as the storm rages around them. Parker sits behind his rock in the shadows and cries.
He is completely alone.
The next attack by the Ngoys will be in a week. Parker will die.