There Can Only Be One (A Cameron Dallas and Nash Grier Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

CAM'S POV:

My girlfriend, the girl I can never get enough of is having a baby, my baby.

In all honesty, I'm not ready to be a dad.

I can barely keep track of my laundry and shit, how am I going to take care of a baby.

How could I be so freaking stupid?

I hated myself for this.

I hated myself for ruining three lives, maybe more.

Kellin, poor Kellin.

She came here, so funny and beautiful and just wanting to have fun.

Sure, she can do some things, but it won't be the same.

I made it so she has to grow up faster.

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I ruined my life.

No more messing around, going to parties and getting wasted.

I have responsibilities now.

The thing that bothered me the most however, is that I ruined our baby's life, and future.

Kids who have teen parents are affected.

Affected by my dumbness, my stupidity.

If only I just used a condom, everything would be perfect and I wouldn't be sitting here.

Sitting here bawling my eyes out, hating every inch of myself, beating myself up in my head.

I also left Kellin to deal with Nash by herself and he was pissed.

He screamed at me.

The things that stuck in my mind haunted me and hollowed me inside, making me feel like nothing, a numb, empty pit.

"Worthless."

"Monster."

"Life killer."

"Selfish."

"Backstabber."

The words Nash said repeated over and over in my mind.

I didn't need time to cool off and think, I needed time to break down.

Standing up from the bed, I walked to the full length mirror.

Nash was one hundred percent right.

I was a monster.

My eyes were swelled and crimson, my brown hair a tangled mess.

My chocolate eyes were no longer as bright as they used to be.

They were blood shot and weary, still watering from crying.

My cheeks were flushed and my lip quivered, I was on the verge of breaking down again.

Look at me.

I'm such a fucking mess.

I got my girlfriend pregnant, my best friend hates me, and I can barely stand myself.

I can't do this anymore.

Walking into the hotel bathroom I searched around.

I found a razor normally used for shaving and held it up.

The sterling metal shone like the stars, like a way to escape.

A way to feel something other than numb, and to hurt myself for what I've done.