THALIA

32. Wanted

• RICHARD FORD •

It's ridiculous, I know it is. But Thalia doesn't deserve to have to live in house after house after house until she's 18. And there is a huge part of me, nagging at me, telling me that I can't let her go. I have a huge fatherly instinct to protect her. That's why I'm considering adopting her.

I know Esmerelda wasn't the first person to hurt Thalia. But she will be the last. I'll make sure of it.

It's crazy. Mad. Stupid? Actually, no. It's not stupid.

I'm afraid of Ben freaking out. And Gio. And all the boys. But I just don't think I could forgive myself for letting her get adopted again into a shitty household.

I tap my fingers on the desk anxiously. I've called Gio down here, maybe it's stupid telling him first. I don't want to get his hopes up. Maybe I should have told Thalia first. Or the rest of my sons.

Gio knocks once but comes in before I even have the chance to reply, "Hey, Dad. What's up?"

His big, chunky, green headphones are around his neck and he's still in a plain black t-shirt and pyjama bottoms.

"I need to tell you something. Don't freak out."

He looks hesitant, "sure... I won't freak out."

I believe him. Gio just doesn't freak out. He goes quiet. But he's always quiet so it's difficult to tell when he's mad.

He takes a seat on the chair opposite me and takes his headphones off from around his neck and puts them on the desk. He leans back into the chair but I can tell he's anxious. He's cracking his knuckles.

"I was thinking..." I pause. How do I even say this? You'd think I know what to say in situations like these, after all, I spent several years being an FBI agent. I still haven't even completely given it up. But I'm not in the same position I used to be. I still go to events, but I do more of the computer work now. Bennu took my role not long ago. It was a huge part of me, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. But I'm trying to focus on my business. Like my clubs and my gyms and my hotel. I love all of it, but being in the force was by far my favourite.

"... that I might adopt Thalia."

I was expecting a scolding, a mad silent son for the next month but I didn't expect him to say "please, yeah."

"You're happy?"

"Fuck yeah, Dad. She needs stability. And someone who actually loves her. And I want her here too."

I let out a happy laugh, "okay, okay. Good. I need to talk to your brothers and Thalia."

Gio's expression changes slightly, "I'm not sure if she'd say yes."

"What?"

"Yeah... she tends to fend for herself usually. Isn't great at accepting help."

"It's fine I'll force her to." I say breezily.

"Dad, what? You can't do that."

Then I go on to claim that I'm doing it because Its what's best for her, wether she accepts it or not. But really, I would kick myself if I didn't do anything. And there is a weird part of me that feels like she belongs here.

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I did not expect to see Will walk through the door. I see him and he's... he's got a girl next to him. She's pretty. Oh fuck, it's the one who was at the door the other day. I want to hide and not come out until he leaves but it's to late for that, because his girl spots me and shoots me a glare. New me: so I glare back.

I spot Gio at the back of the large crowd, just awkwardly scratching his arm. I feel him. I go over to him and smile. When the crowd starts moving elsewhere and Will spots me he looks shocked, but quickly masks it and has a collected look.

Once everyone else has left, I move close to Will. "Hi."

He looks at me boredly, "sorry, who are you?"

A lodge forms in my throat. "Nobody." And I walk away. I don't have the time to keep up with his games.

Entering the kitchen I go and sit on the sofa next to Rich. He's got his MacBook on his lap and his very expensive watch is on show because the sleeve of his suit jacket has slid up his arm because of the position he's sat in.

He looks pretty glued to the screen so I don't say anything and let him do his work. "How you holding up, sweetheart?"

"Good, thanks. I can't tell you how much I appreciate how you've let me stay here. I'll go soon, promise."

"No, don't worry about it. We want you here."

I start breathing faster and my heart rate quickens. No one's ever said that to me before: we want you here.

The amount of times I have been told the same thing. "We don't want you here. No one wants you here. Who said they wanted you here?"

My eyes are starting to moist a little and Rich looks at me with a concerned expression plastered on his face. "What happened? Whatever I said, I didn't mean it."

I laugh shaking my head, "no, it's not you. Well, actually it is you. But it's not bad tears. You said 'we want you here'."

He looks heartbroken. Like someone has jsut ripped his heart out of his chest and smashed it into a million pieces. "It's true. Gio wants you here. The boys won't admit, but they want you here. I want you here."

There's nothing I can say to him so I just hug him.