When My Life Changed

Chapter Four

The weekend passes without anything of importance happening. I sit around at home, in my room with the fan on, reading my book. Nothing happens in the book to thrill me. All that happens is that Kristy gets in trouble for jumping off the cliff and gets grounded for three weeks. I put the book down for the final time three-hundred pages off the finish. Nothing is worse than a real-life drama. Where’s the magic? More importantly; where’s the romance?!

As much as I love reading about love, I hate it too. I love reading especially when the book is written in first-person; then I get the full blast of the emotions that the character feels. But then, when the partner gets dumped, I get hit by the negative emotions that I keep trying to escape from. I can only recall a few books that didn’t involve girl kissing boy, and those books are all about gore and violence. They’re pretty cool too, I suppose. As long as I’m in the right mood.

It’s Sunday night and I’ve finally finished getting ready for school for the next day. With no book to read I can’t find a reason to keep my light on. Perhaps if in half an hour, if I can’t sleep, I can light a candle. Fragrances help the most, and so does fire. I’ve already named myself a kleptomaniac with depression, anxiety and paranoia, so why not add pyromaniac to the list?

It turns out that I don’t need my candles, which is good because mum doesn’t approve of me using them when everyone’s asleep.

“What if the fire broke loose?” she would ask me.

“That wouldn’t happen, mum, because I wouldn’t let it,” I keep telling her.

“But if you lit it when you’re so tired, you could fall asleep and then what would happen? The house would burn down.”

“Mum…”

“And then we’d have to go live with Oma.” That silenced me. My Oma is nice enough to spend the afternoon with, but not forever. She’s far too Dutch. Her ability to state the obvious is just inconceivable. Anyone that states the obvious more than once in a blue moon just annoys the heck out of me.

I fall asleep with a jumble of thoughts rushing through my head.

~ I’m in a castle. I’m running to every door to find my way out and escape, but every door I open is either locked or has lava ready to spill out into the doorway. Eventually I give up searching and just walk around. Like most dreams that I have, I’m aware that I’m dreaming and I know that sooner or later I will wake up.

I walk into a large room, the main hall probably, and look at all the people that stand idly chatting. Apparently I’m the princess because everyone bows as I walk past. I haven’t noticed up until now that I’m wearing a white dress.

At the end of the hall is a man in a high school uniform. He turns around and smiles at me. If it wasn’t for my mechanical dream-legs I would’ve frozen where I was. Jake’s dark brown hair flows around his face just like it did when I saw him in the school-yard. He takes my hand in his – it feels so strong and warm – as I reach the pulpit.

Suddenly I feel a pain in my stomach. My vision blackens from the pain. I look up at a figure in a black cloak.  When I see that he’s holding a bow, I instantly hate him. How dare he ruin such a good dream…? ~

Mrow.    

“Sod off stupid cat,” I hit away my cat Midnight. I don’t like hitting him, but it serves him right for ruining my dream. I slowly sit up only to hear him meow again. I scoop his heavy, black, furry body into my arms and make my way down to the kitchen. I open a tin of food for him to eat and then rush into the bathroom. I turn on the cold water and jump straight in.

COLD!! I hate the cold! But I hate the heat more. I wash my hair and shave my legs.

“Ow!” stupid razor. Stupid, blunt razor. I let the water from the shower wash away the blood. Oh wonderful! The perfect start to a perfect day. Note the sarcasm. At least I got in the shower first. Usually I wake up later than everyone else so I don’t get dibs on the bathroom.

Get dressed, have miniscule breakfast, get on bus, arrive at school. It’s all the same.

In the locker bay I walk past Jasmine. She calls out hi but I just ignore her. I want to scream and shout at her that she’s a traitor; how she should’ve stayed in my class and kept me company. But I can’t. The number one rule of ignoring: never let your decision weaken.

When I get to my locker, I grunt with displeasure. The biggest jerk of the century is there. He rejected me back when I was back in year seven and still young and naïve. I still haven’t quite gotten over it. It did give me depression and made me want to commit suicide after all.

“What have we got first?” It’s always the same question. According to him, he lost his timetable and hasn’t got a spare, so he keeps asking me what subject we have next.

“Apple strudel with whipped cream,” I answer. When I’m in a mood like this he’s the last person I’m going to help out.

“No, really. What do we have?”

“Get yourself a flippin’ timetable!” I slam my locker closed and padlock it. I walk out of the corridor in a hurry. Well, really I’m not hurrying; my legs are so long that a slow walk for me is almost a jog for normal people. I’m not a thin person, the opposite actually. I’m not fat either; I just have a lot of left over puppy fat from living for twelve years as a couch potato. I thinned out after I came to school and had to do P.E. for three hours a week.

I walk around the school a few times. As I walk past the garden, I completely ignore Morgan. Jasmine moved into her class to be with her. Morgan says hi to me the first two times I walk past her, but for the next three times after that she gives up. I’ve often thought to myself that she’s as thick as a brick, and now I have proof. She still hasn’t realised that I’m not talking to her.

The bell goes, sending me to class. I don’t need anything for architecture, so I don’t take anything. Morgan’s in architecture so I sit on the other side of the room. Two girls from my form, Madelyn and Francis, move with me, even though I don’t ask them to.

“Hey Lavina!” they chorus.

“Hi,” I say half-heartedly.

“What did you do over the weekend?” Madelyn asks.

“Well, first I murdered a Catholic priest, then I went down to the pub and drank a couple of beers, then I got home and I was pregnant so I moved to Canada and had my baby and came back here,” I suppress the urge to laugh. Their expressions are so hilarious! When they’re muscles don’t move I start to smile, then giggle. Francis starts to laugh with me, and then after a few seconds, Madelyn joins in.

At a signal from the teacher, our giggling starts to quieten.

“All right class. Today we’re going to learn about first and second perspective…”