Ari

Chapter 83: Saying Goodbye without a Goodbye

I expected everyone to feel disappointed upon confessing what I really felt and thought from the start. I knew I might hurt them, and the same goes for myself, but I have to be honest to everyone at all cost because I have to straighten things up. I don't want to regret things in my current life anymore for me not to have any other burden before fighting an impossible battle.

I focused on informing everyone about what happened during my absence, then burst into tears, asking for forgiveness, telling them I initially was tempted to go back to the place I used to live in my previous life. I told them everything on my mind without looking at them, fearing from the sight of even a slight disappointment on their reaction.

Everyone was silent for a moment as we all sat in front of the table filled with different dishes cooked with the combined effort of all of them—dishes that were taught by me during the span of our journey. The aroma of ham glazed with honey, roasted duck, steamed buns and dumplings filled the dining room, exuding a sense of warmth despite the silence.

My brother placed his right hand on my head, stroking it lightly while wiping my tears and said, "Ari, you will always be my sister no matter if you used to live as Ahri or the goddess Arie. All I see in front of me is my beautiful and kindhearted little sister, born from the same womb and fathered by the same alpha despite the difference in our race. Even if you thought you were selfish, I will always be on your side until the day you no longer need my protection."

Dillon stood up, knelt in front of me and grabbed my right hand. He rubbed his face as usual, smiled at me and uttered, "Ari... It hurts me seeing you blame yourself for things you haven't had a choice. I still feel guilty knowing that you were just initially forced to accept me as your partner, but you never let me feel that way even now. Thank you for choosing to come back to us."

"Mommy! I love you! You will always be the best mommy in this wowld," Gurion cried as he threw his furry body in my arms.

Lowell, Tora and Macan were silent but all of them threw a reassuring smile at me.

On the other hand, Blake was silent, looking at the ground—I couldn't fathom what was running in his mind.

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During dinner, we re-planned our path and had to choose the fastest way to the North—knowing the urgency of my mission. We had to cross the ocean further north in order to arrive ahead of time, despite the delay caused by my awakening.

Tora and the others had to work together to readjust my dresses as fast as they could. I no longer needed my mask and gloves, but they adjusted them according to my current size just in case I need them in the future. They also adjusted my cloaks alongside the dresses since I needed a set that could allow me to move freely.

We did our best to finish the agreement we had with Jael. I finished up the translation and created three copies with Tora's help—we made them into books. Luckily, Dillon, my brother and Macan were talented in crafting, making it easier to explain to them each step on how to make a book from the copies Tora and I wrote by hand.

After finishing our tasks, we had dinner with Jael and his family. They held a feast and invited everyone, including the visiting traders. I had to wear my mask and cloak to limit my exposure to others. They hailed me like a goddess and I had no room to refuse their excessive praises. We just planned to move out as fast as possible.

I still bound my chest because I found it hard to move with a heavy bosom. My arrows and bow were also modified by Dillon since it was initially designed for my small hand. He made an alteration to it for me not to find it awkward while using it because the size and weight also matters in shooting an arrow.

I had to refuse Nyala's company since the group will be facing a great danger and we cannot reassure her safety along the way. She looked distraught at my frank refusal, but her parents were relieved by my decision. They said they also didn't want to let go of Nyala since she was still too young for such dangers and might burden our group.

I asked each and every one of my group if anyone wants to stay at Canan Village and wait for my return, but they all said they will accompany me no matter where we have to go except Blake. He remained silent and I had to talk to him alone.

I asked him to visit my room that night and told the others not to disturb us—though I knew they all stayed outside the room since I could sense their presence nearby. Even Gurion was eavesdropping on our conversation that night—I had no Idea why he was not asleep yet.

I was sitting on the bed and he sat on the chair that he pulled and placed in front of me.

"Have you finally decided to stay here? Were you disappointed in me?"

He held my hand while his snake tail wriggled and caressed my face. His eyebrows were furrowed and he frowned as he said with a trembling voice, "N-No. I was never disappointed in you! Despite how many times you deliberately pushed me away and how you treated me like a cub similar to Gurion, I never did. I am just confused about what was happening. I still can't process everything in my mind."

"It's okay! I will respect your decision. I will talk to Jael so that you can settle properly in this village as I promised. Just please be careful with your words and actions towards others—always remember all the things you learned from us, especially when you are trying to find a partner."

He squeezed my hand and said, "No! You don't understand! I'm not giving up on you! I will just back down for now. I want to be worthy when I finally stand by your side with those males surrounding you."

I was baffled because I thought he already made up his mind to finally let go of me.

His tears streamed down as he pressed his lips against my hand while whispering, "This is not a goodbye, okay? Even if I choose to stay here. I just need to sort out my thoughts first. Please come back here once you are all done with your mission."

I nodded in agreement, smiled at him and responded, "We'll be back and check on you. Always remember that you are no longer an abandoned hatchling because you are already part of our family."