Remember when you left once, you assured you'd never lie to me, but found you had aclandestine meeting with him when you said you were home sleeping.
I scrupulously pondered every night surmising the possibilities of two men caressing eachother's napes in a dormitory. My mind was deluded by my own foolishness – to continue holdingon to something it would surely maim me.
My mind was exhausted in presuming an illicit affair from hidden photos and wine bottlesfound in your vault, and you continued to evade the evidence until you misled me to ignorance tobelieve in your dishonesty. You made a fool out of me, and I was at fault tolerating you so.
Secluded places where you both gazed at the stars, linking every constellation that can beseen on that December night sky. At all times you would capture him viewing; contemplatinghow he was watching it that was visually viewed by your peers who thought we were donealready. Yet, at all times, never heard you summon me to a place where no one can see us andenjoy the panoramic view – it was just a dream that I was wishing to come true.
Remember when you'd been continuously unfaithful to my mental capacity, and used myvulnerabilities to run away from the obvious, I was a fool regarding everything as true.Recollection of the past makes me suffer deep agony when my state of fragility was exploited,add the day I knew you slept next to him just because you thought he needed consolation.
On that soft satin sheet, had you ever thought of me – what would I feel perceivingvividly an episode of someone I love and envious of were sleeping together after a doze withone's despondency and melancholia on a four-cornered room, secluded-located dorm, with asingle blanket alleviating them from the cold amidst December?
I had been declining hopes of happiness and fragments of freedom from all the timesthere were opportunities to escape from a cage of forever melancholia. Consecutive sleeplessnights from anxiety and drowning in pills from a year of joy and almost two years of suffering,everything was dark, I just wanted to reset everything.
YOU ARE READING
UNCENSORED (For Publication)
PoetryThis book is all about betrayals on friendships, invalid feelings, untangled fates, and taciturn and morose secrets. This is currently in the state of revision.