A single choice

Nightmares

Here we goooooo. I know that I have jumped around with pov's but I promise that it is now all first person from now on... For ahsoka.

Ahsoka 1st person pov:

I leaned back into her hospital pillows smiling. Padmé was in the corner of the room, on a call, undobtably about the senate meeting she was supposed to be at. The amount of times she had skipped out on meetings for me was insane. Was this what having a mother was like? If it was, she was the best. Anakin had been called to the council chambers, probably to talk about my little speech, and my recovery time. I'd heard that the boys were outside guarding the hospital, but it was all overkill in my mind. I mean, who would want to have a senator, maybe a duchess, two legions of clones, and three very angry (Plo-koon, Obi-wan and Anakin) chasing after them? Not to mention, one of the jedi was the chosen one. I sure wouldn't. Suddenly, my eyelids felt very heavy, and knowing I was safe, I let myself drift off into sleep.

I woke up slowly, but it all started when Padmé almost shouted. I wondered what, but that was soon answered. Anaking whispered, "I know, I really can't let her go out, but stupid Tarkin says that she should, becuase its her "DuTy" Well I'd like to see him shot and go back out less than three days later." My mind exploded. I had to go back into the battlefield?! How would I fight? I would die! Is that really what the Jedi wanted? Maybe I should have walked away. Maybe I should have just left it all. I kept silent because I wanted to hear what they were going to say, and my determination kept me down, but almost every other fiber in my body was screaming for me to jerk up and start sobbing. To cry for everything that had gone wrong in my life. For the brothers I'd lost, the people I thought had been my friends, but betrayed me. For my people who had been enslaved. For this stupid galaxy and all it's problems.

I tried to meditate to clear my mind, but it felt like a swarm of angry bees buzzing in my head, but I just couldn't focus. Before my trial, the force had felt like home, a safe place. Now it felt cold and unwelcoming. Finally, I focused on one of my happiest memories. It was a trick Anakin had taught me, back when I would have nightmares about mortis. I shivered under my blankets feeling the cold tingle go down my spine. I relaxed, reliving the memory. The smell of smoke and sweat in the air, the cool rock under my hands. "You're reckless little one. You wouldn't have made it as Obi-wan's padawan, but you might make it as mine." The joy I had felt that day had been immense, knowing that I, Ahsoka Tano, the weird one for not using the standard grip, the small one for being short, and the reckless one for pulling too many pranks on the masters, was going to be the chosen one's padawan. Then slowly it got colder and dark. Darker then the blackest black hole. Limbs were covering the ground. My soldiers were fighting alongside me, but for some reason, my arms weren't working, my legs too. I couln't move, I couldn't protect my men, or Anakin. I watched in horror as one by one, the 501st legion was shot down. I watched as Anakin fought to protect me. No sound came out of my mouth when I screamed. I watched his body fall to the ground, bouncing slightly. His last act had been protecting me.  Then it all stopped.