In Bad Faith

Chapter 65

The safe I had hidden in my wardrobe was full of everything no suspect should ever see. But right now, I was retrieving every item that I had put in there. My police badge, some documents, a gun, my real passport and the files of my dad that Floyd had given to me. I put the latter back inside, but laid the rest out on the unmade bed in my bedroom. This room would be the one that no one could look into if I kept the curtains closed.

My heart had never gone this crazy ever before. I was going to tell my subject about my real identity, and about my real job. I was going to save him from the stuff I had to put him through myself. Right now, I just really hoped my dad wasn't looking down on me, because I was betraying everything we both once stood for. "Sorry, dad," I whispered, looking at the documents once again.

I was clearly not doing this in the right state of mind. There was a baby growing inside of me, I had kissed Floyd two days ago and promised him we would raise this child together. And that's not all; I was madly in love with Misha Zaveri, and apparently that was enough to give up everything I had ever fought for. And I knew that if it wasn't for this baby, I wouldn't have done any of this so impulsively, but right now this seemed like the best option to avoid my kid having to grow up without a dad.

This all made me realize that in my mind, I had already decided to keep the child. Only several minutes ago, I was still contemplating what to do with this baby. I had even read all about the procedure of aborting the child. But seeing Misha, this thought had made me sick. I couldn't do it. I was a grown woman with enough capability to take care of a kid. Maybe I wasn't at the right place in my life just yet, but I would manage, exactly like I had always seemed to manage with other unexpected situations.

After a deep sigh rolled over my lips, I started moving. I walked to the living room, where I saw that Misha was not sitting on the sofa anymore. He was checking my living room. I saw him gliding his fingers behind the radiator and checking the air-conditioning for cameras. He knew the exact same tricks I had learned throughout my life.

He turned around to face me the minute I got back into the living room, looking at me with a pained expression. And then I remembered. "Two phones, Nadya?" Misha almost begged, wanting me to tell him what he suspected wasn't true. He wanted me to come up with a brilliant excuse. But I wasn't going to. I nodded, pulling the plug from my TV out of its socket and walking towards my front door, which I locked. What I was about to do, could get us both in jail, killed, or in serious trouble.

"You switched them off?" I asked him, and he made a sound that sounded like a yes, but it also sounded heartbreaking. He knew. He knew the apparent love of his life was an FBI agent. I got a lump in my throat having to hear this. And when I made sure everything was off and clear, I looked at Misha again. He was staring at me, disappointment flickering in his eyes. This was going to be a lot for him. He was going to find out he was about to become a father and hear that the mother of this child was his biggest enemy. I knew that criminals like Misha were most scared of undercover police like I was. That's why he never trusted anyone.

"Okay, come," I told him softly, gesturing towards the hallway. I wanted to ask him to leave his phone switched off, but somehow I trusted him enough to have already done this without me suggesting it. He was smart. He managed to stay away from the police for years. Misha followed me without asking any more questions. And with every step we took towards my bedroom, my heart started beating a little faster. What the hell was I doing?

When we got to my bedroom, I stopped in front of the door that I'd closed behind me a few minutes ago. I turned around to face Misha, looking him straight in the eye. "Before I show you everything, I want to tell you that I have lied to you, a lot," I started speaking, while Misha was just staring at me. "But I have never once lied about my feelings for you. Because I am very, very much in love with you. That's also why I am showing this, because I want to save you," I said to him. He didn't answer. Misha just looked at me and then nodded, as if he was preparing himself for the big reveal.