Misbegotten

Nine

As I watched the flames from the bonfire flicker in the night I couldn't help but be aware of the sickening dread filling my stomach as each second passed. I had spent every moment today trying to delay this moment. My whole family was gathered around the bonfire for the final stage in our 'family bonding experience'. Tera sat at the head of the circle in between my dad and me. Her big smile was still intact however I could see some hesitation in her eyes. Even she knew that this wasn't going to go down very well. I had managed to avoid Chelsea's questions all day too. She was becoming more curious each time I deflected her questions about where I had been for so long last night. At first she was worried but now I could see she knew I was hiding something. I couldn't tell her. On the bright side Declan had been pulled off with his family to do charity work all day in a near by village so I didn't have to worry about bumping into him while Chelsea followed me around all day. It was strange hanging out with her but I could tell she was a good person and after everything I decided I would try and be a good sister.

"Okay," Tera spoke up breaking the defeating silence but only increasing the tension in the small space. I closed my eyes trying to hear the sounds of the ocean not too far away from where we were, in an attempt to calm myself down.

"So usually we start with the good things, then talk about the problems we may be having with one another, and the end with another round of good things and hopefully a resolution," she explained calmly eyeing us all carefully. "So we are just going to go around the circle and name on thing we love about the person next to us. Robert how about you begin." Tera finished turning to my dad. He nodded and looked to his left to Florence.

"I love how you are a caring and forgiving person. You are better than I deserve," he told her looking deep into her eyes. It took all my self-control not to throw up. Florence smiled at him kissing him lightly on the cheek before turning to Cameron sitting next to her. It went round and round all the lovey-dovey things until Chelsea got to me. She took a while obviously having to think about it. Sure we didn't hate each other anymore but I could see how finding something she 'loved' about me would be difficult. I sat patiently trying not to take it personally. I imagined her silence would be one of the least hurtful of things that happened tonight.

"I love how you are your own person, and I admire you're strength," she said finally with a smile. It was the most genuinely nice thing she had ever said to me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay, good, Sofia now you say something you love about your father," Tera reminded me. I nodded. There were a plethora of things I loved about my father. Along with many I didn't love so much. I ran a shaky hand through my hair before retuning it to my lap and latching my fingers together.

"I love how you care."

"Of course I care," he said clearly wondering what I meant.

"Okay, now we will get to the discussion part on the evening. Please everyone try to keep an open mind. " Tera spoke interrupting my dad's confusion about my comment. "Before we get to that I want to explain how this is a safe place where it is healthy to share your thoughts and feelings towards one another and any problems you may have. I want you all to feel safe enough to really share so we can mend any broken relationships. The floor is open."

Her invitation was met with silence. However, it was short lived because dad took that as an invitation to question me again.

"Why wouldn't I care?"

I shrugged in response.

"I would like to bring something up actually," Cameron interjected. Our eyes locked and I knew he was about to throw us all under the bus. I knew it had to be done at some point but I thought maybe I could scrape through this night without having to confront anything. I was always running from it but it was better than actually dealing with it. I didn't have to go through it to know that much.