Halfling

She Who Is Unwated

My demons,

though quiet,

are never quite silenced.

Calm as they may be,

they wait patiently

for a reason to wake,

take an overdue breath,

and crawl back to my ear.

Being raised in a small town is nothing new to me. I keep to myself mostly in fear of what others might think if they truly knew me. The outsider who smokes out back on her lunch breaks and listens to rock music through her Walkman. The always present but ever troubled teenage vampire. Well teenage outsider is all anyone really knows except for my uncle, Max. It all started with him and my father. Max was turned in the late 1800s, almost the turn of the twentieth century. My father was turned in the fifties which made it a little easier for him to fit in. Blood brothers by chance, certainly not by choice. Max is more of the fatherly type and has always wanted to be but the turning caused him to put those dreams aside. My father never wanted kids till I happened and yet he still doesn't want me.

My mother was a concert take home in the summer of 65. Nine months later and I was born. A miracle my mom said and yet an abomination to my father. Half vampires are never to be born, not a thing has ever been heard of. Somewhere along the way, I seemed normal. No eyes changing, no fangs, no thirst for blood. When I was six, Max found out my father had abandoned me and stepped in as my Uncle. My mother knew no different so she let the strange but kind man visit from time to time. He did not dare mention the "state" of my father till I turned thirteen. That's when everything changed.

Sure becoming a teenager could be hard but for me, it was a whole new world of difficult. I started developing an eating disorder due to the constant state of bullying in school. By no means was I ever fat but I certainly only cared what the boys thought. When I started getting sick, I figured it was from the lack of food. But when I started smelling blood and found it deliciously tempting, I knew I needed help. Max noticed my closed off behavior and let me in on the one secrete that would haunt me the rest of my teenage years, I'm half vampire.

We learned over time that some rules of vampirism still applied to me while some did not. I do not burn in the sunlight but I can be oversensitive when it is sunny with no clouds in sight. I crave blood but can survive off of human food. I started to get insomnia but could fall asleep during the night but hated waking up in the morning. I am definitely not a morning person. One thing we never tried was drinking blood. From what Max knew about halflings who drank from blood wine, it's that they turn after their first taste of human blood. The only problem was my eating disorder. The longer I went without food, the stronger my craving became. When I was fifteen, I had one close friend. I hadn't eaten maybe five hundred calories in a three day span and I was going feral at the thought of her having blood pumping through her veins.

She had fallen off her bike next to me during our normal night rides when we would sneak out. Max found me hovering over her body, face changed, fangs out, and ready to tear into her. Her arm was broken and her head was scraped up so she had enough blood to make me sick. I felt horrible once Max fed me a burger. I hated that I was a split second away from tearing her throat out and yet she'd been one of the only people who seemed to tolerate me. Once she was out of the hospital, I broke off our friendship. I started sitting alone in class and lunch till I decided to take my things outside to be away from everyone.

Max came more frequently after that night. He came at least once a week to make sure I had been eating properly so I wouldn't be taking out a classmate. I got a schedule down for my eating and started smoking weed so I would get the munchies when I didn't normally feel like eating. I wasn't sure of my plans past high school but all I knew was it had to be something that involved no people or temptation. So when Max offered for me to move out to California to Santa Carla to live with him, I didn't think twice about saying yes. He convinced my mom to let me go saying he had me a job lined up which could help me pay for college, like I was actually going to go. And he would even give me a place to live. Going from snowy Colestin, Oregon to a sunny Santa Carla, California would be a change for me but at least I would have someone who understood what I was going through and I wouldn't have to hide from everyone anymore.

So I packed up what few things I owned and made my way to Max's car. As soon as dark hit, we were out of this piss ant town and on our way to my future. Nothing would prepare me for what I would have to face when it came to the Murder Capital of the World.