anmo

V.

With the situation at hand, Elka started preparing some essentials, acting deaf towards all the reasoning Elisse has been doing for the past minutes, but despite the resolve she ended up slumped in a corner, hands holding her chest, trying to fight off the shivers from the anxiety arising in waves.

"You kept on saying that you've already gotten over it but it's obviously not the case here."

Despite the harsh words, she ended up hugging her in a manner to ease the chills, trying to disillusion her into returning to present, that the smoke had already cleared up and she's living on her own now, but they are there to be of support to her.

The task is far from easy, but she needs to try.

And it was still, aside from the slow tapping of rain on the rooftop that started pouring unnoticed by their current state. Eyes starting to fog up, she bawled out, the frustrations and fears, that the world is unfair for letting those who wants to live end up losing theirs and those who are uncaring be the ones with luck on their threads of fate.

She tried so hard to be capsuled in the microcosm she's built for years now, but things like these always make it past through the walls and crushes her easily. Every uncertainty is still a possibility. The thoughts of slowly returning to those days made her felt fear towards the future.

And by the time they have both calmed down, they've lost him.

Without the will to fight, perhaps, or simply because it had been so long since he had suffered that death seems like the best course to take in his mundane life. Maybe he wanted peace, and the only means to have that is an end.

Despite all the unknown truths, the fact is she hoped for him to live, and she admits that it's mainly for self-satisfaction and for his own benefit. Gratification in the expense of others. Then she thought, that she's slowly starting to resemble the life values of the family she had lost.

"I've sent a message to Ama... she'll have the council save us the trouble and take care of this."

All she can do at that very moment, is hold his cold hand, whispering that he didn't die alone, and that he will be remembered, even if as unnamed stranger, he deserves that much.

--

Her shock was broken by the sudden drop of the bridge, making her hang on tightly to the side, uncaring if she's seen by those people running after them. Then it was the darkness within the waters that filled her eyes, hues of reds and yellows making the surface glow like a light show, and it entranced her, it was beautiful to look at, but it only signifies pains and build-up of hatred she didn't expect she'll feel as a kid.

Dying is out of the question now, with all the deaths that happened, but seeing the bodies of her companions slowly getting dragged deeper into the unknown portion of the seas, she reached out, wanting to see them even for another moment, even for a minute, to express her gratitude and despair.

By then she thought of how drowning right now felt like the more attractive option to choose. To scream her heart out, to let the tears sting her eyes, for her throat to be crushed, anything to ease the heaviness pulling her downwards.

Spiraling into thoughts of the past, she slowly lost her consciousness, until there was nothing but the black void.

--

"You were such a beauty when I didn't know you yet. Now, no matter how much brilliance you exude, you're just a dry husk burning with fading embers."

She was an entertainer, but with her performance came a personal offer to every customer. She was an entertainer, traces of her still on stage, seen by many, but her real persona still hidden to the public eye and cannot be condoned as something to be told easily in the out.

She was a rose with tons of thorns, but he, he even loved those thorns.

But right now, the one lying there don't even have the bit of energy to fight back. Sunken cheeks and ghastly complexion, brightness long lost. Being a seer made her an asset but the disease that's slowly devouring her mind and physique had degraded that value and pulled her down from the pedestal. The only reason she's still being kept around are the records she had left with the Minister, and him only releasing parts of it when necessary, and to make them believe that she's still doing the work required from her to be let into their abode.

Her existence keeps him sane, even if prolonging her pains is a twisted way to do so.

Upon the entrance of the attendant that he personally chose to assist in tending towards her health and needs, he acted indifferent once again, as if imposing that whatever left between the ill and him is nothing but their duties to serve the nation and nothing else. In that way, they'll both be protected.

From the chance of being thrown away like a used bag when it's already in tatters, to the worst of losing not only a shelter but their own lives.

"Pardon me for the sudden intrusion, the messenger sent had returned but –"

"Leave the details and bring him to the office, let him do the talking."

"This is understood."

Backing away, she quickly run towards the one who relayed the message upon being out of sight of the Minister. Not out of respect but of fear, she wants to ensure that order is kept, and his instructions are properly managed.

And he knows of it, of those under him having those impressions with how he acts around them and the way he speaks of the world.

But those are of no importance, with them hating or fearing him a sign of the unwavering image he had protected for so long. Even before they had known of each other's past, and she had seen through him.

All he can do at that very moment, is hold her warm hand, whispering that she won't be alone, and that she will be reminiscing of the old days once all of these is over, even with the unnamed relationship, she deserves that much.

--

"Aren't you too ambitious compared to what you can actually offer now?"

"And yet you're in that position despite of the roots of your origin."

The neon lights reflected on her face like fairy dust was enough to distract him, but he kept his act. Following her trail lead to another country and he had went through so much just to find her, to bring her back to their own, and seeing her in this state of being used by others, he felt the guilt slowly gnawing at the back of his head knowing that he's there for the same reason.

To use her until the day she can still be of service for the King.

"You're quite brave to say those things to me while you're standing in this alley. I know we both don't belong here, but this is where I decided to live. And die. If that's what you're worried about. If you are worried for a change, that is."

"You do know that you went here without a permit. You're still under my jurisdiction, that is fact. You can deny me all you want but you're still obliged to follow the task given to you."

"I didn't ask to have that position. I know you think so low of me right now, I saw how you looked with disgust when we were inside the club. You're offering me an illusion I've already woke up from, and even if I'm starved here, I won't return to be like a caged pet only able to roam around when you think it's time for walks. Stop seeing me here or you'll just make a fool out of yourself soon."

Not wanting to hear his response, she ran back towards the club, despite the sting on her foot with the edges of her heeled shoes. Life without the chains, even if it meant lesser provisions, is still better in her view.

She had grown up understanding what hunger and poverty felt like, living in this manner for the years to come will just be a continuation of it all over again.

But she does not mind, as she had endured to be able to stand there now, away from the grasp of her past.