Weeks passed and Louis was getting worse. He thought about his conversation with Lottie and began to wonder how he could have been so foolish to think that the doctors were wrong. Because he was going downhill so fast and so drastically and there was nothing he could do but watch. He would watch and make sure he ate something and drank something. Made sure he got to the toilets alright, showered, and made sure he was as comfortable as he could be.
The best days were the days Louis woke up with sparkling eyes and a smile on his face. The days when he would walk around the flat little by little, fold some blankets and pet the dog. But he seemed to have taken a vow of silence, Harry hadn't heard him talk in days and part of him wondered if he was forgetting Harry. Because if he forgot Harry, he would have nothing to say to him at all, and that was the one thing he didn't want to happen. How would they be forever if Louis forgot?
So, now in the kitchen where he was fixing lunch, he almost jumped out of his skin when two slim arms slithered around his waist and a face was pressed to his back. Harry relaxed instantly and turned to face Louis, his heart still pounding in his chest. Louis's eyes were searching his face, and Harry just hoped he recognized him. He must have, right?
"What is it, Lou?" Harry asked softly. His lips pulled apart as he searched for something to say.
"Love...you.." his voice was raspy and deep and everything that wasn't Louis, but even so Harry wanted to cry. Because for at least two weeks, he hadn't heard a peep from Louis. Not a word. The silence in their home was slowly eating him alive because he used to be so loud and obnoxious. It just wasn't the same.
"I love you, boo." Harry said softly.
"I-I need....washing." His pale cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment and Harry felt his heart do a loop-da-loop in his chest. Somewhere in there was pain and somewhere else adoration.
"Alright, love. Let's go." Harry said, taking his bony fingers in his own hand. Louis walked slower now, three of his steps barely enough to cover one of Harry's and so they trudged to the bathroom together and Harry removed his clothing piece by piece until Louis stood naked in the bathroom. The hardest thing to do was not to stare. Because Louis was withering away before his eyes and he wasn't even Louis anymore. He was a walking skeleton with skin stretched around it. Harry turned the water on and the room quickly filled with steam. Louis had curled in on himself, fresh goosebumps dotted his skin.
Harry beckoned him forward, holding open the shower door for him. Louis slowly stepped into the water, and after testing the temperature, he stood underneath the shower head, letting the water wet his hair. Harry took a step back, about to close the door when a hand stopped him. It held the door open and when he looked at Louis, his blue eyes beckoned him forward.
"Please." He croaked softly. Harry wasted no time and hopped in the shower fully clothed. If Louis didn't remember him, he wouldn't want a random man naked in the shower with him. So the water soaked through his t-shirt and shorts instantly, and they clung uncomfortably to his skin. But that was okay too. The water was almost too hot for him, but Louis always liked it that way. If it wasn't burning his skin off, he didn't want it.
He poured a glob of shampoo in his hand and gently massaged it into Louis's scalp. His head was tipped back into the water, so it washed out almost immediately but Harry suspected he just enjoyed the feeling. His hair was long enough now that his bangs touched his cheek bones if he let it, and the scruff on his face was almost a full, albeit slightly patchy, beard. Harry wondered if Louis would let him shave it.
He pushed damp strands of hair away from his eyes and was careful to keep the soap from streaming into his eyes. Louis just stood there, like a statue and let Harry do as he pleased. Harry felt a little sick when he saw how wide the gap between his legs had gotten, or when he realized he could count his ribs and the vertebrae in his spine. He wanted to wrap his hand around his wrist just to see how much of a gap there would be. His heart throbbed. He was watching the love of his life whither away before his eyes.
"Harry." He glanced again at those big, blue, beautiful eyes that he always loved. They had sunken so far into his skull now.
"What is it, darling?" He replied. Internally his heart was screaming, jumping, laughing even. Because Louis remembered him. Remembered his name. Remembered he loved him.
"Zayn." He said after a long pause. Just as soon as his heart was leaping for joy, it was shattering again.
"He'll come." Harry promised. "He will." Louis scanned his face, and Harry wondered if he was revealing something there. Maybe Louis was searching for the answer he'd always wanted, maybe he was trying to find the right words to say.
"Will...will you...." He couldn't seem to find the right words to say, though. His features contorted into frustration and confusion until he raised his hand to his ear, mimicking a phone.
"Of course, love." Harry replied softly. He replaced the soap to its place and wiped away streams of water that found their way into Louis's face. He sighed somewhat dramatically, and wrapped his arms around Harry's middle and pushed his face to his chest. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis's shoulders and held him. And he would hold him until his very last second if he could. He just hoped that second wouldn't be soon. Wouldn't be now.
"I don't want to go, Harry." Louis said so quickly he almost didn't catch it. It was the fastest he had spoken in so long he hadn't even expected it. "Don't let me go."
Harry didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say that could make him feel better. So he pretended not to hear it at all. And he held Louis. And he didn't let him go.
