His heart was racing in his chest, his fingers tapped his thigh to calm his nerves and he looked at the curtain. At the stage. At everything. It was like it was all brand new again.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He kept his eyes straight and cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the overwhelming nausea and emotion. He was under new management now, and Christine, his new manager, stood directly beside him. He decided he liked Christine after the first day he met her. He thought Louis would have liked her too. She cared about how he felt, what he was going through, and everything he did unlike management he had had in the past.
"I have to." Harry replied simply. If he didn't do it now, he knew he would never return to the stage. Christine only squeezed his arm in reassurance and stepped away, the click of her heels the only sound of her departure. Harry looked to the ceiling of the stadium, and wished they would have taken the roof off so he could have seen the sunset. But he supposed he would have to watch the sunrise instead. Just to see him again.
He tapped his toes back and forth as he stood, waiting for the curtain to drop and on a last minute whim, he called for a stool. The guitar that hung from his neck now rested on his thigh and he adjusted the mic stand to his new height. Maybe it would be easier if he wasn't standing. Harry was the one who had suggested a One Night Only show in London. Because that was where their story began. He decided on a small venue, only a couple hundred fans were allowed and Harry's closest friends and family members. No cameras except his own and no cell phones were permitted at the gate. This was a private show, this was Louis's show. He craned his neck to kiss the heart tattoo on his shoulder and reached for the necklace that rested over his heart. One wedding band on a chain, and the other on his finger. Here we go.
So when the curtain dropped and the spotlight hit him, there were only a few shouts and cheers for him. Nothing like arena shows. It was almost relaxing. He strummed a note on the guitar and cleared his throat. He could see his mum and sister on a higher level, standing right next to Louis's sisters. And next to them stood Liam, Niall, and Zayn. The room fell quiet, and the screen behind him illuminated the room.
"Hello," he said into the microphone. His voice wasn't his own anymore. It wasn't one he recognized. "I'm sorry I've been away for a while, but I'm- hopefully I'm back now." His eyes glanced over the room again, and he realized he was looking for him. He looked down at his fingers. He strummed the guitar again and let loose a long breath.
"A lot has happened to me the passed couple of years. I lost someone very important to me and-and it's been hard." His voice cracked on the last word. He cleared his throat. "But I think he would have wanted me to do this, so this is for him. This is for you."
On queue, a video of the sunrise filled the screen behind him, and a recording began to play.
"Hey, Haz. It's- it's Louis-" then the recording cut, and Harry began to play. Because he wanted that small snippet of Louis in his music, the world should know now even if the world started with only a few hundred people.
His throat was raw, whether it was from emotion or misuse he wasn't sure. But he played anyway, and he didn't stop when his eyes filled with tears, or when those tears fell down his cheeks one after another. He didn't stop when he saw that swift bird up in the rafters, watching him play. How did it get in here? Flew through the door when someone walked in? Maybe someone let it in, or maybe it was you, Louis. He only stopped when the song was over and he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of that awful green hoodie.
"Hey, Lou." He said to the bird. It cocked its head to one side and fluttered its feathers. The bird soared overhead and landed on the stage behind him. "Do you like the show?" The bird flew up and landed on the mic stand, but when Harry reached up to stroke its feathers, it flew into the rafters again. That was a better spot anyhow.
The screen behind him changed again, and he could see the reflection of pictures of him and Louis on the mirrors in the back. He smiled. He had done it. He had finally started his journey to show the world their story. And in the morning the sun would finally rise again.
