Crazy What You'll Do For A Friend.

01. go ahead and cry, little boy

There he was, having a scene thats played out a countless amount of times be replayed once again. A boy was hunched over in his bathroom, throwing up everything he had in his stomach, that was already barely anything.

He could feel the inside of his stomach burning, rotting. He could feel his organs moving inside of him as he continued vomiting, and the worst part of all of this, wasn't the pain of it, it was how this wasn't even close to the first time.

It hurt, no matter how many times hes dealt with this pain, it had never hurt any less, it was disgusting. The shame, the guilt, everything that came with the consequences of his actions made him wish even more he had just succeeded - but what did he even do to get into such situations?

"Ryan!?" The boy heard being yelled, followed by frantic knocking on the bathroom door.

He struggled to get up, clutching his stomach as he did. Stumbling towards the door, despite the short distance, and unlocked it. As soon as he did it was whipped open by another boy, who was much taller than the other.

"Ryan, are you okay? How much did you take," The other boy questioned, concern in his voice.

Ryan couldnt bring himself to speak, he just looked down, and fell into the other man, unable to stand either. The man hugged him, and moved him down to sit on the floor. Ryan had already finished throwing everything up, every time he got the feeling again nothing even came up.

The other man noticed an empty pill bottle on the ground, and picked it up. He ran his fingers through his hair in distress; not too sure how to feel. He already knew the cause, from Ryan's message.

"I overdosed again."

"Please come over, my mom isn't home. I dont know what to do."

As soon as the taller boy had received those messages he dropped everything he was doing, and rushed over to Ryans house as quick as possible.

Holding the bottle of pills, that he had no clue of how many were in there beforehand, he walked over to the smaller boy and hugged him, sitting beside him, and rested his head on his shoulder.

Every time this happened, he never knew what to say, Ryan couldn't speak. When he tried his stomach twisted again in uncomfortable, painful ways. He never knew how to comfort this boy at his lowest, and it made him feel like absolute shit every time, but he still stayed by his side.

He needed someone there, more than anything.

He never felt cut out for this job, for the responsibility he had with Ryan, but he couldn't turn Ryan away from him. All he wanted was Ryan to be safe, and happy, and... with him. He wanted Ryan with him at all times, being away from him felt painful. Maybe even the same pain Ryan felt each time he had pills eating away at his insides. Maybe it was even worse, but seeing Ryan smiling with anyone other than him... it fucking hurt.

It. Fucking. Hurt.

"Brendon?" Ryan whispered, turning his head. He noticed the boy beside him tensing up, it scared him a little, but he didn't let that show.

"Sorry, I got a bit lost in my thoughts there," The boy named Brendon responded, loosening his grip around Ryan's soft hand.

Ryan looked back down, then closed his eyes. He breathed in and out slowly and steady, trying not to calm his thoughts. Just trying to relax.

"Are you feeling well enough to move to your room?" Brendon questioned with a soft smile.

Ryan inhaled deeply once again, before nodding, eyes still closed.