My Barren Wife

Part 5

Matshepang

I have sent my cv to a couple of companies and still  no luck, I mean after varsity I was head
haunted, I was building a name for myself, but being out of the game for 4years, I am sure new blood is running the rails.When I look back, I think Mpho was jealous of my success, we both did accounting, my dream was to live in New York and work at Wall Street, then maybe think of settling down but I took my dreams and shoved them behind a door.Mpho never supported anything I did, he had a way of always making me feel bad for being driven or wanting things differently, I got tired of fighting with him about my dreams, I wanted to keep him happy, forgetting I needed to keep myself happy before I attempt to fulfil his needs . His mother never liked me, it didn't help that Mpho never stood up for me, I mean for someone who kept claiming I was there for her sons money, yet I supported him when he was building a house for her.When I sit and think about it, Mpho was emotionally abusive as much as he was physically  and as to why I stayed around for as long as I did buffels me.
"Mxm! " I just get mad when I think about him.
"I was a shopping wife", in Mphos mocking voice "Shopping wife se voet", I had also worked for that money, hell I stuck around for his nonsense, the cheating also, I should be paid for all that.

I guess you guys have added the dot's , Kghositsile is my neighbour of since we where kids we got married when we were nine playing house.
He was my first, first everything,first kiss and I gave my virginity to him,I can remember that like it's yesterday,then I packed for varsity,we tried the long distance relationship,it worked up until a point he just drifted off. My family loves him as they own same with his mom.

I was in varsity and he was growing Pharaos reputation .We had undeniable chemistry . I loved him and at some point I thought he loved me too.Our parents knew if I was not home I was with him,we where as close as day and night but as years went on alot shifted.Pharaoh his street cred was growing and I was with Mpho . Look for example at that night the police found us in the middle of the road,they would rather get on a kerb than ask him to move his car.I don't think the police respect him for no reason ...,if it was any Tom ,dick and harry we would have been in a holding sell.

But not Pharoh, Pharoh demands respect and people fear him. I chose Mpho because he was a safe pick.
Tshile was my world and I had plans with him,plans of a future,plans to raise his kids,but so much happened between us.

"What you thinking about " my mother disturbed my thoughts.
"Just life " sigh
"What about life my baby " my mom asks making us tea.
"Where I went wrong and where to next?
Mpho got Married over the weekend so I am wondering what life has in store for me" I say
"Congratulations to him,And what have you decided you want to do?"she prompts
"I feel like I have been old for the last few years,you know not my age and all sudden it's like I'm remembering how it feels to be my age " I say
"One thing I tried telling you one time,that a marriage shouldn't make you feel old,it should grow you?" She says
"I now know its why I want to travel, I want to be happy " I say
"I am happy to hear " she says rubbing my hand
"Ai! Is that all you going to say?" I ask
"Matshepang, I want you happy my baby " she says
"Thank you mama, I just need a job" I tell my mom
"Ask Tshile" my mother says

Few days later lunch date with Basi

"I need a job honestly being home is not nice" I say to Basi
"Why not ask Tshile for one" Basi says
"Ohhh!please not you also " I say
"Tshepi you know you the only one sitting in a corner,hoping your enemies eat poison so they can die but it's slowly eating you" Basi says
"Tshile is not my enemy " I say
"One minute you want him to fuck you sensless,next min his the sorn enemy,what's up with that?" She asks
"Basi stuff happened between me and him" I say
"Stuff like what,you know he has never been in a relationship since you guys didn't work out " she says
"Look talk to him about whatever is it he has seemed to have done that he has no clue about,but just ask him for a job so you can pass time"she says
"I will think about it" I say