▪️TF2 x Reader OneShots▪️

💖MERC ALPHABET D-F💖

♡D- Dinner♡
What do the mercs make for dinner?

👟Scout👟
Scout's not one to cook. He doesn't really know how, but he'll do what he can, and that usually ends up being a quick bowl of ramen done up just a little bit fancier than the serving suggestion.

🪖Soldier🪖
Soldier knows how to cook, but only one type of food: American! He believes that if you make food from another country other than America, the communists will spy on you and brainwash you!

🔥Pyro🔥
Growing up very close to his mother affected his cooking. She taught him how to cook and tips and tricks for the kitchen. He makes some of the best-tasting Italian food you've ever put inside your mouth, and he's very proud of it.

💣Demoman💣
Demo's usually too drunk to cook, but when he's not, he'll try his best to cook. Usually it ends up a strange-looking blob of mush, but it tastes good.

👊Heavy👊
Like Pyro, he grew up very close to his mother, and she taught him how to cook. He usually needs your help when making food, however, due to the size of his hands. You oblige, delicately following his instructions while he talks to you about his home in Siberia.

🔧Engineer🔧
Engineer is absolutely fantastic at cooking. He can make virtually anything, and he makes it well. You always ask how he does it, and he answers that he dumps a ton of a special ingredient in it. You ask what that is, and he replies, "Love."

🏹Sniper 🏹
Sniper believes you shouldn't knock it 'til you try it, and that includes cooking. Despite his mindset however, he ends up burning whatever he's making. He admires your skills in the kitchen, trying to take note of your motions.

💊Medic💊
Medic is banned from the kitchen and from making food for any of the mercs, including himself due to the... chicken incident (story coming soon >:D).

🚬Spy🚬
Spy is better at cooking than you would have thought. He's extremely talented, but believe it or not, he hates escargot with a passion and vows never to cook it, eat it, or even utter its foul name.

♡E- Endearment♡
What do the mercs call you?

👟Scout👟
▪︎Toots
▪︎Sugar
▪︎Babe
▪︎Chucklenuts (he calls everyone this)

🪖Soldier🪖
▪︎Pumpkin
▪︎Cupcake
▪︎Sweetheart

🔥Pyro🔥
▪︎Firebug
▪︎Tesora
▪︎Fiamma

💣Demoman💣
▪︎Lassie
▪︎[unintelligible drunken words]
▪︎Dearest

👊Heavy👊
▪︎Beautiful
▪︎Снежинка
▪︎Little (Y/N)

🔧Engineer🔧
▪︎Sugarcube
▪︎Honeybee
▪︎Sweetheart
▪︎Buttercup
▪︎Darling

🏹Sniper🏹
▪︎Sheila
▪︎'Roo
▪︎Champ
▪︎Mate

💊Medic💊
▪︎Taube
▪︎Fräulein
▪︎Schatz
▪︎Leibe
▪︎Leibling

🚬Spy🚬
▪︎Amour
▪︎Fleur
▪︎Deése
▪︎Ma petite chou-fleur

♡F- Flaws♡
Every rose has its thorns; what are the mercs'?

👟Scout👟
Scout has pretty high self-esteem, or so you thought. His cocky facade hides years of trauma and devastation, and he bottles it all up, telling himself that he's not supposed to feel like this, leading to breakdowns and anxiety attacks. During these episodes, he's either known to hide away in his room or a random broom closet or to lash out on others accidentally.

🪖Soldier🪖
Soldier has a tendency to deny any strong emotions other than patriotism and his love for you. If he starts to cry, he'll silently berate himself for being so soft.

🔥Pyro🔥
Pyro has self esteem issues, mostly revolving around his face. He knows he's not conventionally attractive and questions in his mind why you would ever date someone like him. You reassure him that he's handsome and absolutely attractive, if not to the world, at least to you.

💣Demoman💣
When Demo's drunk (which is basically all the time), he gets extremely emotional and will break down at the smallest thing, whether it's a creepy guy getting too close to you, or just the fact that his drunk ass fingers won't open the door on the first try.

👊Heavy👊
Heavy is extremely protective of his loved one. He will pummel any creepy guys near you and protect you at all costs. However, this does have its disadvantages as Heavy won't let you go anywhere by yourself. The world is a terrible place, he thinks. I must protect my beautiful (Y/N) from it.

🔧Engineer🔧
Engineer has working problems. He won't stop working, even when his body starts to fall asleep. He'll shrug it off and drink more coffee, continuing his work, most likely on his sentry. You have to force him to leave his work and get some sleep.

🏹Sniper🏹
Sniper has social anxiety and is really awkward in social settings. He won't be social in public in any way, shape, or form unless you are there for moral support. He won't leave your side in public, and clings to you when socially confronted. He also has some anger issues and gets ticked off very easily, but most people wouldn't know that unless they got to know him, which is only a handful of people: the other mercs and you.

💊Medic💊
Medic is a little prone to mood swings, happy one second, wallowing in despair the next. The smallest things can set him off and it makes everything just a bit more complicated at times.

🚬Spy🚬
Spy finds it hard to make amends with others and to reconnect with people. He's desperately wanted to apologize to Scout for not being there, but he just can't, leading Scout to believe Spy doesn't care about him.

▪︎END▪︎