the way i love you ➵ beomkai

Chapter Eight

Happiness — a state of joy or satisfaction, experienced in different ways by different people.

It isn't a feeling Beomgyu experiences often, but the warmth of Kai's arms around him momentarily makes him forget about all the issues going on in his life. Like his brother being sent to a hospital, or how his parents haven't been happy for awhile, or how most—if not all—their frustration gets taken out on him the times they're actually home, or the intense pressure he feels now that he has to inherit the family company once he graduates. He doesn't know what's going to happen between now and then and it's something that eats at him constantly, even in the early hours of the morning.

Beomgyu holds in a sigh and opens his eyes, squinting when he's met with a bright light shining through Kai's window. He lets out a groan and grabs the pillow beside him, gently hitting Kai's body with it and not stopping when he gets a groan in response.

"Hyuka," Beomgyu whines when the pillow's taken from his grasp and he shoves his face deeper into the covers. "It burns—get up and close the blinds."

He gets a soft laugh in response, a sound more calming than gentle rain against the window pane, and he's pulled closer by his waist until his face is met with Kai's chest. His heart can't help but skip a few beats, still not used to... this. They've been close many times before, but this time feels different—it feels vulnerable, and that alone both excites him and terrifies him.

"That's not what I was asking for," Beomgyu mumbles, but he doesn't move away. Kai's chest rumbles as he hums, sloppily running a hand through Beomgyu's hair and it's clear that the younger isn't awake. Beomgyu decides to let it slide—for now—and nuzzles his face deeper into his chest. He shuts his eyes, but he deems sleep useless pretty quickly.

His mind drifts back to last week, where he found all of those pills dumped in the toilet with an empty prescription bottle discarded on the counter. Even though it's almost been a week now, he can't help but think about it every now and then, especially since he and Taehyun both tried and failed to look into what the meds were being used for. What made it worse was Kai's reaction and how betrayed he looked when he saw them, but Beomgyu can't help but worry about him; he hates that his worrying only seems to make Kai drift further away from him, but sometimes he feels he has no other choice.

Beomgyu feels a hand on top of his own and that's when he realizes he's gripping the front of Kai's hoodie tightly, and with that he lets go quickly. He opens his eyes when Kai sits up slightly, a concerned look on the younger's face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah?" Beomgyu internally winces at how unsure he sounds and he clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm good. Why?" He then sits up, the blanket now pooling in his lap. Kai looks at him for a moment before he responds.

"Just wondering."

"Oh."

It's silent for a second before Beomgyu is getting up from the bed, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." He doesn't look at Kai when he turns to leave, only hearing a hum from him as he goes to the bathroom. Once he's inside he locks the door behind him, turning on the faucet and hoping Kai will assume he's washing his face or something.

Beomgyu doesn't bother stalling and does what he's intending to do. He looks at the medicine cabinet, carefully opening it and blinking at the assortment of different medicines and bandages, and that's when it hits him that he doesn't even know what that medication looked like, much less what the name of it was. Cursing silently, he unlocks his phone and goes to his messages between him and Taehyun. He types quickly, his finger hovering over the send button as he rereads the message.

"you remember the name of kai's meds?"

Was he really going to invade his privacy again? He ponders on whether or not he should send the text for another second before pressing send, setting the device down on the counter and putting his hands under the faucet. The water is warm as he splashes his face and looks at himself after, sighing and closing his eyes.