Familiar

Chapter Twenty

"You have to understand, I was desperate, there were things that I couldn't just leave. I wasn't done-" He takes another breath, and it's panic now that I see across his face.

"I wasn't done living when I died, and Eli tried to bring me back." 

TW: Illness, Death

____

What!?

I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to do with this information. 

"So, what are you saying?" I'm hovering over my seat now, ready to run if I need to. 

"Sit down, please." Ryan's tone is pleading, looking around us at the cafe and of all the people. I do a quick check, no one is looking at us yet. 

Despite how tense I am, I sit down, if only to keep up appearances. 

"Thank you." He says, keeping his voice low. 

"You need to explain." I tell him, drinking my coffee. It doesn't help to calm me, but the warmth feels good. 

"I told you, I can't here." He explains, and I notice his eyes are wide, like he's panicking. "Will you get into the car with me? I can drive us to a park or something. Somewhere we won't be overheard." 

I think for a minute, trying to gather my thoughts. I can't take it, I take my coffee and walk out the door. Chimes ring out, one's I didn't notice before when we came in. 

I look above the door, and I can see them. A small little sleeve of brass-coloured bells. Then everything goes dark. 

My legs can feel the water sloshing against them, and I shut my eyes. 

I don't want to be here, I think. But my thoughts are as sluggish as always. Like they're not really here. Like it's not really me thinking them. 

I open my eyes and I look at the trees in front of me. Their dark outline is the same as always, with the dark sky above me. I vaguely remember seeing a picture of this place, but at the moment, I can't place from where. 

I see something in the distance. Everything past the first few feet is out of focus and blurry. As if a camera is turned to the wrong setting. 

But there's something there that isn't trees. An additional blurb that moves. It looks as if it's swaying. 

Right. Left. Right. Left. And I recognize the motion then. It's not swaying. It's walking. 

"Kara." His voice is so clear it's as if he's standing right next to me. It rings through my ears and it's too loud. I crouch down to get away from it, but I can't. 

"Kara." It's not Ryan, it's Cayden's I realize. It's my brother's voice. 

I open my eyes just wide enough to look across the water at the edge of the trees. The figure is still blurry, but it's him. It's Cay - my brother. 

"Kara!" This time the voice is crisper, deeper. I open my eyes and it's so bright I immediately shut them again. I turn to the side as I throw up, but I'm barely aware of it. Someone's screaming. Everything goes black. 

***

I wake up and wince, then tense, waiting for the waves of pain to return. But they don't. 

It's there, underneath the surface, but it's manageable. 

I open my eyes and turn to the side, where Ryan sleeps in a chair. I'm back in that other hospital. 

"Good evening, Miss." I turn to the look at the foot of my bed, and I'm greeted by a lady in green scrubs. "You're alright. You're in the Misery ward."