Tomioka giyuu Smut stories

in my arms (sabigiyu)

He should be asleep.

He should get some rest, go to bed, as he's sure the other pillars had done hours ago, but there's not a chance in hell sleep would come to him tonight.

He's desperate for the sense of unease lingering in his heart to disappear.

As much as Shinobu had teased him for being so obviously worried, he's thankful for her. She'd nearly single-handedly kept him sane for the week. She'd tried her best to ease his mind in her own way, he knows she means well behind all her digs and insults. He'd never say it out loud, but he appreciates her.

Giyuu's not a drinker by any means, he can't handle his alcohol very well at all, something he'd found out on a particularly embarrassing birthday a couple of years back. Shinobu would never allow him to forget it. But tonight he'd make an exception. He pours himself another drink, hoping for the warm burn of it to make his worries melt away just a bit.

He’s not back. He’s not back and he should've been by now. 

Giyuu downs his drink in one swift motion before pouring another one. Tapping his foot mindlessly. Sabito had never been assigned a mission without him. They always worked together. Of course, he knew this was bound to happen sooner or later but that hadn't made it any easier on him despite Sabito's reassurances. 

Every awful possibility imaginable had already run through his head a thousand times over, and he was meant to have returned today already, so his intrusive thoughts were even louder in his mind than usual.

He fears every tiny sound he hears could be a crow scratching at a door or window ready to present him with bad news. He could be dead already and Giyuu wouldn't have been there to help him, to protect him as he'd done for him all those years ago. He owes Sabito his life and he can't even be there for him when he needs him.

He exhales in a shaky breath, pinching his brow between his fingers. He needs to calm down.

He hastily finishes his last drink feeling the warm fuzziness of inebriation dulling his senses, but he still feels like his heart is being squeezed impossibly tightly like his lungs are filled with burning ash and smoke threatening to suffocate him with every inhale.

He needs fresh air. Now.

He slides the door open and cool autumn air hits him. He breathes in deeply and the unpleasant tightness in his chest loosens very slightly. He takes a seat on the porch where he and Sabito had spent what seems like countless evenings together, it's cold enough for him to see his breath leaving him and the trees were nearly bare now, it would be winter again before too long. He wonders if he'll be spending it alone this year, and shivers. He chews the inside of his lip sore, letting out occasional huffs, picking at his fingernails. He could almost hear Sabito scolding him for the bad habit.

He looks up, the moon nothing but a sliver, and when he sees a tiny black shape flutter across the sky his stomach lurches violently- if he’d had anything for dinner he’s sure he would’ve just lost it. He doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want to hear whatever that damned bird has to say. He doesn’t want to hear any of it. He picks himself up and hurries back inside before it can get any closer.

Giyuu shuts himself in his bedroom- leaning back against the door and sliding down it until he’s sat on the floor with his knees pressed against his chest - he places a hand over his heart feeling how hard it's pounding, only being able to hear his own blood rushing in his ears.

So deafening in fact, that he doesn’t even hear the front door open and then close again.

He flinches upon hearing something tap lightly against his door-