White Noise

4

My heart tripped over itself when our eyes connected. My mind went to the thought that maybe I was being stupid and he was looking at someone else. But I knew there's no way that could be. I could feel his stare through every atom of my being. My gaze went hazy around the edges, the music and pointless conversations slipping away into white noise. It felt like he was standing right in front of me, as if I could reach out and run my hands through his tousled dirty blonde hair, trace my finger along his distinct jawline. His eyes were deep blue, so vibrant that I believed I could see every detail, pulling me so deep into him that I shuddered.

Then, with his blank facial expression not changing at all, something shifted in those blue pools. They danced, so minimally that I felt like I had to squint to see it. Pleasure. Without moving a single muscle in his features, I could tell he was pleased.

My stomach did such a big flip I felt like I was going to vomit. That was when I realized that we had been staring at each other for way, way too long. I looked away, sucking in some much needed air. Had I been holding my breath? Even though I was now looking down at the floor, I could still feel his persistent gaze piercing my body. This wasn't normal, right? Shouldn't he have been the first to look away? Shouldn't he have been embarrassed that I caught him staring in the first place? Why was he still looking at me? And why did I want so badly to look bad at him?

I don't know why. What I do know is that my eyes flickered from the floor back up to him. I inhaled sharply, like the wind had been knocked out of me. Dizziness overcame me and I knew that I should look away, but I simply found myself focusing even more on him until my periphery settled into that uncontrollable haze. A weird calmness spread through me. My knees felt wobbly and the knots in my back dissipated, like I had just gotten a massage. Staring into his pupils, I was curious rather than shocked this time. His face hadn't changed a bit, but his eyes no longer danced with pleasure. Instead, there were sparks of interest. Fascination. Wonder. I found myself wondering too. Who is this boy? And not just is name.

Who is he?

"Kate?"

I literally jumped out of my skin, suppressing a scream that wanted to escape my lips. I gasped for air as Jack stood before me, every bit of his body ridden with concern. He took a step toward me but I found myself stiffening. I really hoped he didn't notice.

"Are you okay?"

I pushed out a smile and breathily replied, "Yeah. Sorry. I was just lost in thought."

Jack raised his eyebrows at me, seemingly entertained now. He handed me one of the two beers he was holding, and asked, "Anything you want to talk about."

"No," I blurted out before my mind could catch up to my mouth. He was a little shocked at my urgency and I could already tell he was becoming worried again. Hastily, desperately attempting to sound reassuring, I explained, "It's not important."

But it was. Because I could still feel his stare on me, making my blood run laps through my veins.

Get it together, Kate.

"Thank you," I said to Jack, raising the beer he had given me. I was finally beginning to calm my breathing a bit, so at least I didn't sound completely deranged.

"Anytime," he replied. I couldn't help but hear the double meaning slipping back into his voice again.

I cracked open my beer, took a sip, and asked, "So you never really got a chance to tell me about your road trip with Austin?"