White Noise

7

I wasn't surprised when I got no answer when I knocked on her door. I went in anyway and the lights were completely off, her curtain drawn. I could barely make out a small lump underneath the duvet on her bed. I padded over to her side and all I could see of her was her stringy blonde hair poking out at the top of her covers.

"Mom?" I said. When there was no response, I pulled the thick blankets from her face, which produced a muffled groan from her lips. "Have you eaten anything today?"

Her eyelashes were stuck together as she tried to open her eyes. Using one of her frail hands, she rubbed her eyes until the lashes separated and she could look up at me. Her eyes were cloudy and sunken as her lips lifted at the corners sleepily. "Kate, my love."

"Come downstairs and have dinner with me," I insisted calmly.

"Oh darling I'll come down soon. I'm just having a quick nap," she said breathily as her eyes began to flutter shut again.

"Mom, you've been taking this nap for three days now," I said loud enough to keep her from falling asleep.

Through squinted eyes and a mocking smile, she replied, "Don't exaggerate, Kate."

I glared at her but she couldn't see it because her eyes were shut again. I wasn't exaggerating. The last time I'd seen her out of bed was Tuesday night. This was just how she was. She'd be up and fairly active for a few days, pretending like there was nothing wrong, and then she would crawl into a hole and disappear for a whiole. It was an inevitable cycle that Caroline and I had gotten very acquainted with. I didn't think I'd ever get used to it though. I knew it was going to happen, yet every time it did, it still caught me off guard; it still hurt.

There was a box of crackers on her bedside table, barely touched. Whether or not she could hear me, I muttered, "Eat some crackers please," and left her dark room, shutting the door behind me louder than I had intended.

I ate my sandwich on the couch, JD's smirk flooding my mind. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels to try and distract myself. It didn't work. His smirk would appear in my mind, sparking all of my senses into a shivering physical reaction. I kept replaying our conversation over and over in my head. My heart would race at how stupid I must've looked, blushing and clearly affected by his presence.

You're interesting. I like it.

Even his voice in my head sent jolts down my spine. My stomach was now too knotted up in anxiety to have an appetite, so I repackaged the last half of my sandwich and put it in the fridge. Returning to the living room, I pulled out my phone and wasn't surprised to see Lauren's name.

From: Lauren

Only an hour and a half now. You better be getting ready.

I pressed CALL, and she picked up on the second ring.

"Do you need help picking out an outfit?" was the first thing out of her mouth.

"No," I responded, biting down on my lip. "I can't go tonight."

I could hear Lauren's eyes narrowing. "What do you mean you can't go."

"Well I told Caroline I'd pick her up if she needed it and—"

"Then just don't drink," Lauren stated easily.