School today was a weird day... We had two assembly's. Travis is trying to get me an Jason together. I'm kinda happy about that but not at the same time. They are on the basketball team together and they had a game today so Travis said that he will talk to him about me!
So Travis told me that Jason will say yes if I asked him out. Believe me, I want to ask him. But I'm to scared to ask. I wish I wasn't such a loser. God! GOD!
I will never have another chance with Jordan and that kills me, it cuts me deep and I will always have the scar that reminds me of him. I liked him so much it wasn't even funny. He was everything I stood for, everything that I had faith in... The only thing I had faith in. But it was the wrong thing to have faith in. Now that we are not together I'm sad, depressed, I don't even know.
No sorry I do know. I'm everything that I don't want to be now that I'm not with him. I used to be happy, I used to smile. Now, I have no reason to. The spark of happiness that erupted into a flame and that flame overcame me with happiness and emotion is gone.
I hate it when I'm right in front of you and you don't know that I love you.
But hey, I messaged him, the first time in like two months that we talked after our breakup.
Me:
So you prob don't want to talk to me but I wanted to say I'm sorry about everything ally said to you... 😊 I feel really bad about it.
Jordan:
oh its okay but i never really meant to hurt you plz forgive me thank you so much for talking to me i thought you hated me
Me:
It's fine, I understand...
Haha I could never hate you!!! 😃
But I lied... It's not fine. Not that it ever would be. But, also I could never hate him, it would be impossible.
I have air cadets tonight. I don't want to go. I never want to go. I'm being forced to be in it though. Which I find totally and completely, utterly stupid! Don't you agree?. I thought so.
I'm sick. A yucky tummy, a aching head.
Thump-thump
Thump-thump
Tttthhhhhhhuuuuuummmmmmmppppppppp-thump.
Damn son. Dammmnnn.
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So I hope you like This chapter <3
Sorry guys but I feel really sick xoxo ur all amazing and I love uzzzz :)
