ꜱᴇʀᴇɴɪᴛʏ, ᴡʀᴏᴇᴛᴏꜱʜᴀᴡ

13

"Believe me, Y/N, I want to but...I just...can't," Harry responds, angry at first but dropping his head and letting out a deep breath before me. I think briefly before taking his head into my chest, hugging him and running my fingers through his hair.

"Why?" I almost whisper, leaning my head against his.

"I just can't, Y/N, I wish I could," Harry responds. I feel a sense of disappointment take over me, making my feel even more frustrated than before.

"That's not an excuse, Harry! What do you mean you can't tell me?" I ask, pulling myself away from him.

"I can't, Y/N," Harry repeats.

"What do you mean?" I raise my voice.

"I just can't, Y/N!"Harry yells, taking me by surprise. Harry seems to be able to sense my shock as he takes no time to respond.

"I'm sorry, that was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at you," Harry apologises, moving closer to me once again, "Even if I could, I don't want to rush into anything."

"You wouldn't be, we've been hanging out for months." 

"Yeah, I guess, It just wouldn't be right for me to ask you before I knew I was ready," Harry admits. I actually feel kind of bad for him. 

"What's holding you back?" I ask, my body feeling like it's gone limp with disappointment.

"I don't know, Y/N! I don't want to ruin things. I don't want a relationship. I don't want to hurt you like that, that's not fair on-" Harry rambles on quickly before I cut him off.

"You don't want a relationship?" I ask, standing helpless in front of him, feeling like everything has been torn away from me against my will. Harry remains silent, letting out a deep groan before his eyes dart around the room, almost like he's looking for an escape plan. This is the moment I feel something inside me snap. I was always raised to be respectful in arguments, but all of my logic seems to have flown out the window now.

"Then please fucking tell me, Harry, what the actual fuck are you playing at?" I ask, still coming off quite calm, but that doesn't last for long.

"YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING ME FOR MONTHS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WAS STARTING TO THINK WE GENUINELY HAD SOMETHING, HARRY. YOU'RE A FUCKING PRICK, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!" I scream, waving my hands frantically as I'm overcome with emotion and don't know how to react. Harry stands there, dumbfounded with his hands now in his pockets, his facial expression showing nothing but utter shock.

"Know what? Get the fuck out. Now, go!" I continue, picking up Harry's jumper, shoving it at him and pushing him through the flat and out the door. I wait a few moments until I can hear Harry's footsteps begin to disappear before turning round and collapsing into the ground. I don't even realise the state I'm in until I catch a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror, my hair a mess and mascara running down my flushed cheeks, tears falling onto my jumper.

"Y/N, come here, baby, it's okay. Shhhh," Emma appears out of nowhere, joining me on the floor and swallowing me in a tight hug. We gently sway back and forth as Emma pets my hair, nothing else can be heard except my muffled sniffles. As crazy as this sounds, it's a strangely comforting moment. Don't get me wrong, I feel as if my heart has been torn out of my chest, but I can't help but feel a sense of relief in the supporting arms of Emma.

-------

A/N: Hey heyyy, Happy Halloween/ November 1st! I'm doing an essay for school so I'm not really in the spirit, but I hope you're all enjoying your night!