ꜱᴇʀᴇɴɪᴛʏ, ᴡʀᴏᴇᴛᴏꜱʜᴀᴡ

34

"Here's to a great girls night out!" Freya raises her cocktail glass with might, the rest of us mimicking her with the sounds of "cheers" echoing around the room. I clink my glass against Talia's and Emma's glasses as we all start our own individual conversations. I can't lie, I'm nervous. I don't quite know why, but I still don't feel like myself yet and I don't want to ruin the night by thinking about him.

"Oh, you girls got pre drinks?" Josh asks, appearing around from around the corner with a cheeky grin. As I stand up to greet him I lose my balance, Josh catching me as we all burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Someone's drunk already," Josh laughs, pulling me into a hug before greeting everyone else. Just as Josh is about to make his way out of the door Freya pulls him back into the room, sitting him down on the sofa to join our gossip session against his will. As we discuss Emma's dislike for slow walkers I can feel my heart beat faster in my chest. Harry. Of course someone is going to ask. They want to know how I am, if I'm okay, how I'm coping. The issue is, I don't know what to tell them, I'm suffering from the inability to feel...anything.

"So, Y/N," Shit, "How are you holding up?" Georgia asks. My head spins round towards the group as I'm brought out of my thoughts.

"Uhh," I sigh, taking a long sip of my cocktail before continuing, "I don't know, I don't think it's really hit me yet, to be honest," Everyone humming in response.

"Well, I can tell you one thing," Josh begins, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, "I don't think I've ever seen Harry this distraught before," He admits.

"You've seen him?" I ask stupidly. Of course they have, they're literally in the same youtube group.

"Actually, I haven't, that's what's worrying," Josh admits with a heavy sigh, "He's not showed up to any shoots at all..."

The thought of Harry feeling hurt or upset would normally worry me, but now I'm only filled with rage. I don't want to feel angry, or be consumed with fury. I think I'm better than that, or at least should try to be. I don't want this experience to change me for the worse, but I can feel myself slipping, or rather falling into the grasp of darkness.

"Well, he should've thought of that, shouldn't he?" I hiss, taking another sip of alcohol in attempts to drown my sorrows. I didn't mean to come across as rude, but luckily everyone in the room seems to realise that.

"Preach, sister!" Emma snaps her fingers.

"You know, this is kind of fun," Josh admits, taking a gulp of Freya's drink.

"Oh really? Will you be joining us at the club later then?" Freya asks, raking a hand through his hair as Josh shakes his head in disagreement. As everyone laughs around me my face remains blank. I wish I was running my fingers through Harry's hair, I wish I was inviting Harry to the club, I wish he was here. He hurt me, in one of the worst ways possible, yet I can't let him go.

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A/N: Hello, hello. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter - Josh is slaying! Make sure to vote and take care of yourselves :)