ꜱᴇʀᴇɴɪᴛʏ, ᴡʀᴏᴇᴛᴏꜱʜᴀᴡ

33

"It's not your fault, Y/N," Talia states, handing me a mug of hot chocolate as she sits herself next to me on my bed, Emma, Georgia and Freya opposite us nodding frantically in agreement, "You know that right?"

Deep down I know I cannot control Harry's actions, but a small part of me wonders if I did something wrong, or gave him a reason for his behaviour, "Then why does it feel like it is? Did I do something wrong?"  I breakdown, tears streaming down my face like waterfalls.

The girls disagree with sympathy, Talia taking the mug from my hands, sliding it onto my bedside table before smothering me in a bear hug so tight it restricts my breathing.

"Of course you didn't, Y/N. He's a dick. All men are. You're smart, you're funny, you're talented and, you know what, he's so stupid for letting you go," Talia comforts me as we sway gently on my covers, Talia placing a gentle kiss onto my forehead as the other girls rub my arm in support.

I can't imagine having to go through this without them. I'd be lying if I said I was coping well. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I'd also be lying if I said that I didn't still love him. That's the funny thing with love, it can tear your heart out of your chest and you still find it impossible to let go. It can stab you in the heart and yet you feel sympathy. It's unpredictable, it has no rules, it defies all logic, and I think that's why it's so scary. 

"I'm an absolute idiot, how could I have been so blind?" My hands massage my temples as I reminisce on my relationship with Harry. The good memories of us constantly clouded over by the gut feeling that followed me around, I guess similar to the secret that followed Harry. Both of us being so open with each other, yet so dishonest. That gut feeling has finally gained some humanity, floating away and taking the pressure with it as despite being in pain I can't help but feel some relief.

"You followed your gut, You put your trust in him. You did everything you were supposed to, you can't be blamed for his misdeeds," Georgia comforts me, her confidence setting my heart alight with hope as the quiet girl finds her empowering voice. I have to admit, it suits her.

"I just- I miss him already, being with him was fun, it was thrilling, it was...serene," I admit, being genuine and honest with some of the only people I feel can understand, "It feels like I'm functioning on half a heart," I sigh.

"Well if that's the case, you know what that proves?" Freya asks, to which I shake my head with a puzzled expression, "That you're remarkably strong, Y/N. Give it time. I promise it will begin to feel better, day by day," She smiles.

"And hey, if worse comes to worse, we can always trash his flat," Talia jests, earning well deserved laughs from the group and a small chuckle from me. I hope I don't feel like this forever, because I'm not sure how to cope with the sudden contrast of agony and serenity.

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A/N: Hey everyone, sorry for the really long wait on this one. Thank you for the support while I've been gone, stay hydrated!