Abandoned

Chapter 2

The last week has been the hardest of my life, I know I promised my mum id try not to cry but on a night when it all gets too much I cant help but cry myself to sleep locking myself in the bathroom trying to muffle the sounds not wanting to wake Georgia up.

The funeral came up and it was nice but heart breaking at the same time, my aunt was great helping me choose the flowers and a coffin.

The ceremony had so many people there they filled the church and people even waited outside watching on a TV screen. Friends of my mum went up and read poems and a few religious quotes that were her favourite, we were Christians but not strong ones. I cried a lot during the ceremony especially when the vicar began playing her favourite song jar of hearts by Christina perri.

Me and mum when I was little used to bake a lot and we would turn up the radio and sing along to all the songs playing, screeching out the words to arctic monkeys who we both adored, I managed to stand up infront of the congregation and play on the piano a little section of an arctic monkeys song before I burst into tears and ran into my aunts arms.

The wake after was rather depressing as hundred of people came and left giving me their best wishes half of the people I didn't have a clue was.

Georgia didn't come to the funeral as I thought it would be too upsetting so she went to a friends house for the day.

The worst part of mum dying is knowing I'm never going to see her again, hear her voice, her laugh, see her piercing green eyes again.

It's only started to sink in properly when everyday I put Georgia to bed and I sit in the empty house thinking about everything. I know I have to be strong for Georgia's sake but it's so hard seeing her cry everyday asking when her mums coming back when In reality I just want to cry along with her.

I'm not proud of myself as of how I'v coped, yes I'v kept my promise to mum in keeping georgie safe and happy so far, filling her days with baking and seeing friends but it's not enough. I promised to make her the happiest girl out there.

I'v not cried in front of her but I have cried a lot by myself reaching out to a habit I'v never even contemplated before, I know it's stupid and dumb but I just felt so numb so I grabbed a razor and began cutting my arm over and over again until I could feel the pain I needed to feel.

I walk across the hallway leaving my room and knocking on Georgia's door "yo Georgia" I say and walk into her room which is covered in posters of the vamps, I'v never realised how many posters she's got of these four boys, I know mums taken her to see them a few times but I'v never taken much care of them as there probably just another one direction wanting fame and fleecing kids of their pocket money.

I walk further into the room and slide the fairy net curtains from around her bed to the side to see her sat up on her double bed, earphones in and tears streaming down her face. I sit down on her bed and grab her phone silencing the song she's listening to, geuss what? It's the vamps.

"Georgie" I say and she scrambles into my lap "whats wrong" I whisper kissing her head "I just miss her" she say and I blink back the tears before answering "I know you do and I do alot too but she's watching over us I know it, so don't think you can sit around crying because she will be upset to see you crying" I say jokingly, I look down and see a small smile on her face. "Are you sure she's in heaven watching us?" She asks and I nodd lifting her up off the bed and carrying her down the hallway and into mums room where I slide open the balcony doors and step onto the balcony with her.

"Look up at the sky" I tell her and she does "do you see that star?" I ask her pointing the brightest star that's hovering over our house "is that mum?" She asks "that's her shining over us" I tell her and she smile "she really is an angel and is watching over us" she smiles and I can't help but smile at her innocence.