Like no one does

Blindsided

Ronnie's POV

“Ronnie bear..” The words come out half broken at the emotion lacing Bucky’s voice instantly stopping Ronnie in her tracks from storming out of his room.

“Don’t. You don't get to call me that right now.” Heart pounding out of her chest she stays facing the closed doors not making a move towards them the way she had intended to. Anger and devastation war within her heart with what Buck had just blindsided her with. So much so that Ronnie felt like if she stayed here one second longer she might say something she would regret. Shoulders heaving with each breath she takes, trying to keep back her tears. Still she couldn’t face him. If she did then Ronnie knew she would break down.

In the hushed silence of his bedroom she hears Bucky’s bare feet padding softly over to her. Ronnie could feel the exact moment his large hot body was inches from hers by the heat that radiates off of him through her thin t-shirt. As much as he wants to, he doesn’t touch her though she could feel his need to do so when he hoarsely whispers, “Please don't go like this.”

Equally choked up Ronnie worked her jaw still staring at the dark wood of the large set of double doors. “I don't know what you want from me, James. How do you expect me to just be okay with this happening minutes after telling me you're going back into cryo?” Her breath hitches. “I don't get it. You make me deal head on with how I feel about you and Steve. Then days later after encouraging me with Loki of all people, you're just going to abandon me!”

Don't get her wrong. She understands from an outsider's perspective that this is something that he needed to do. That it was good for him and them long term. But being here on the inside, loving him the way she does.. It was agony to know that she wouldn't get to see his face or hear his voice every day. Get to sleep in his arms at night. Something that had been happening on and off since she met him. Which might only have been weeks ago, but Bucky had become so important to Ronnie in such a short amount of time. She loved him.

“Can you turn around, please?” When she shakes her head no Bucky comes around to stand in front of her. But like a child, she closes her eyes. As if she didn’t look at him then this horrible plan to keep them apart wouldn’t happen.

Cradling her face with both hands Buck sighs in resignation. “Veronica. Look at me, doll.” Reluctantly she does which is when the tears she’d been fighting make their escape. Falling from her thick lashes in twin trails down over his hands still cupping her cheeks. Large fat tears that had his heart breaking at the pain reflected in the depths of Ronnie’s big brown eyes knowing it was because of him that she was crying. “Please don’t cry, doll. I hate seeing you cry.”

“Then don’t leave me!” She cries out desperate for him to not do this, the one thing she couldn't stand the most. Losing those she loves. Abandonment issues for the win everybody.

Resting his forehead on hers he pressed the lightest of kisses to her lips. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right here.”

Scoffing Ronnie shoves his hands away as she begins restlessly pacing the length of the room. “Seriously, that’s what you’re using as an argument to win me over? You'll be here. Your body, yes. But your conscious mind?” Her arms flailing in every direction the more she got worked up. “It’s not like I’ll be able to have riveting conversations with you while you’re a popsicle, Barnes. What am I supposed to do while you’re in cryo for what; days, weeks, months? And when did you decide to do this? I already know Rogers was in on this based on the guilty look on his face. So tell me. Who else knows?”

“Just me, Steve, Shuri and her team. Oh and T’Challa as well as Ramonda of course.. And the guards and Tony…” At her gasp of outrage of betrayal from her own brother, Bucky’s words trail off. Holding up his hands he tries to get Ronnie to calm down before she says or does anything she might regret. “It wasn’t meant to be a secret. It was only because we knew that you wouldn’t handle it well. When Stephen suggested–”