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23. Marilyn

September 2026,
Scars Bay, USA

Jayden

I need to clear my head.

I grabbed a joint from my stash and a lighter and walked out into the balcony. It was chilly but I embraced the cold night. It matched the cold, empty feeling in my heart.

I placed the joint in between my lips and lit it before I took a long drag, and looked up at the moon. It looked achingly beautiful and all alone in this starless night sky.

I took in another long drag. I had a million thoughts running through my mind and yet, I couldn't grasp even one of them.

I took another drag and shut my eyes, an old memory replaying in my mind's eye.

***

March 2021,
Los Angeles, USA

I squeezed some lemon over the sauteed veggies in the pan, gave it a good toss, and then turned off the stove.

I heard keys jingle and a moment later, Alya walked through the door. Storm was waiting for her right at the door barked a couple of times, and jumped on her, excited that she was back.

Her eyes creased around the corners, the apple of her cheeks lifting up and her lips splitting to reveal her teeth as she gave him a wide grin and crouched down to give him lots of pats. "Hi, Stormy! Look at you all excited," she cooed. "Did you miss me?" Storm gave her a happy bark. "You did? Awww..." She picked him up and gave him kisses. "I missed you too. You're such a good boy, Stormy. I love you so much." She gave him a couple of minutes until the little bundle calmed down and stopped attacking her with licks and nips.

Alya finally looked up at me and gave me a wide smile. "Hey, babe!"

"Hey." I smiled back.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her smile slipping and a frown taking its place. She tossed the keys in the key bowl by the door and walked in.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong."

She tilted her head and pursed her lips. She didn't even have to say anything, her eyes said it all – 'I'm not stupid, I know something's wrong so spill'.

And she was right. Something did happen but I didn't feel like talking about it. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Later?" she asked.

"Maybe."

Alya was curious by nature. I knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep without knowing what it was that was bothering me but we had been with each other long enough for her to know that while I would tell her what was up, I'd tell her when I was ready to talk about it.

"I missed you." She came over and wrapped her arms around my waist in a hug. I hugged her back, already feeling better.

"So did I. How was practice?" I asked, still holding on to her.

"It was alright." She rubbed my back. "What about your day?"

"Worked on a paper all day and it's so bad that I'm going to be happy if I even get a C- on it."

"I'm sure it's not that bad!" she said like she actually believed it.

I snorted and released her. "It's fine. I don't even care as long as I just pass the course."

She looked at me with pity in her eyes. "You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"Please, Alya." I squeezed my eyes shut. "I can't talk about it right now." I just needed some normalcy right now.