Starting over again ||Kim Taehyung||

VIII

"Why?" You interrupted him, blinking your tears "why am I called selfish for choosing me? Why am I getting hate because for once in my life I decided to love myself, do what I dreamt of. You, your family, my family, everyone loved me, admired me until I was doing what they wanted, until I was up to their expectations but just once when I had my lows and I wanted to do what I want....all hated me. When I wanted to stand for myself, I became the bad one" you looked down, tears streaming down.

"Until and unless I was controlled by them, I was the best but when I ran away to chase my dream, I was the worst. I was always pampered not gonna lie but my heart didn't agree on walking from one dependent life to another. That's what my life would be...like a loophole." You chuckled sadly and looked at him, eyes shining like diamonds and he looked back, the cracks in your voice telling him the pain.

"I never had an identity. Once I was Mr Lee's daughter and next I would be Mrs Kim...it wasn't me, it was always you. I was asked to compromise my dreams, I was asked to stay at home waiting for you, I was asked to be a good wife and obey you, I was the one to change my name for you but they never asked you to change anything apart from your status as single to married." You were bitter about this inferior feeling.

"I was asked to lose myself to become your wife and create a family with you. How could I take such a responsibility when I wasn't even able to take care of myself without my parents' help? One's princess to another's. Yes...I wanted to spend my life with you, I wanted to be with you but I was always rushed. My dad, my mom, your parents, they rushed me because it was your age to get married but not mine. I never thought our age difference would change anything until I realised it." You were pouring all of your heart. You don't care now what people perceive about you, it is you and no one can care for you more than you.

"I know, I was wrong, running away wasn't a solution but what do you expect from a 20 year old girl who hasn't even finished her studies to get married and crush her dreams? I wanted to call off the wedding at first and I talked to our parents when you were out for a business trip but they didn't support me either. For them, you were at an age to marry and so they were rushing me to. Your father..." you sighed pausing as a lump formed in your throat "Your father told me that if I don't do the marriage right then, he would find someone else for you, I didn't have any option. Even you told me that I don't need to work" you brought back a flashback:

"Tae? You know, I want to start working just after I graduate, I want to build my own company to plan events, it's so fun!" You were sitting on the couch beside him, resting your head on the headrest when you heard him chuckle.

"Huh? Baby, why do you need to work when I am well off? And planning events? Do you need to run errands for others? You should be my princess and I will provide you with everything~ I'll take the best care of you" he hugged you as you felt a sudden sadness.

"I know I don't need to work but I want to, I don't want to depend on anyone, tae." you said, looking up from his chest to his face.

"But it's not required. Neither your or my mom worked, they looked after us and saw they are happy too, don't worry baby I will take care of you well. I am not saying that I don't support you but when I can provide you with comfort, why to tire yourself. And of course you still need to finish your studies" he smiled, kissing your neck and slowly embraced you more but your mind still lingered. (It was before you were asked to get married)
-

"Y/N, I never meant it in that way!! I just wanted you to be happy, it didn't mean that I won't support you" He held his head, his tears flowing with yours. "You could have told me instead of running away"

"I tried...it wasn't because I didn't trust you, it wasn't because I was insecure in you but because you were never there...." You looked down remembering when You weren't stable enough to fight with your parents and their words always lingered in your mind through the sleepless nights, the nights when you needed him, he was busy building your future with him.