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Twenty Two

I looked Brennan in the eyes. "Talk?"

He nodded his head. "Talk. I don't like how things feel between us right now."

This whole interaction was taking me by surprise. I figured that he would want to talk eventually, but I didn't think that it would be at a party or while I was buzzed.

"We can talk." I agreed.

"Good." he took the red cup out of my hand and put it down on a plastic table. He grabbed my hand and walked with me to the front of the house where no one was.

We just awkwardly stood in front of each other for a moment. I didn't really know what to do with my arms. He wasn't speaking and I didn't know how to start this conversation or what even to talk about. 

"I think that, well -" he stopped himself. 

"It's ok I don't really know how to start this conversation either." I sympathized with him.

He let out a small laugh. "Yeah."

"I realized that a lot is coming up. You know prom, graduation, and your birthday. I don't want us to be on bad terms. Well, we're not on bad terms, I guess awkward terms would be a better word for it." Brennan expressed. 

"You really need people in your corner and I want to be in your corner, Ryan." 

I gave him a small smile. "Even though I was a bitch?"

"I mean I wouldn't really call you a bitch." he chuckled. "You were going through a lot like a lot. Way more than the average person goes through. You were one of my first friends and I don't want to lose you."

"You were never going to lose me." I assured him as I got closer to him.

He put his hands on my arms. "You know, we don't have to be anything right now. I know you still have a lot going on."

I nodded my head. "Thank you."

"Despite it all, I think everything is going to work out. I just want to live a good life and make my mom and Dylan proud." I continued.

Brennan pulled me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around him. 

"I'm proud of you." he whispered into my ear. "But I don't think you should drink right now."

That was true.

"I have to agree with you on that one." I pulled back.

"We'll talk more about prom stuff tomorrow, ok? Work out the logistics of the flowers, whose house we're talking pictures at, all of that." he brushed my hair behind my ear. 

I grinned. "We're probably going to take pictures at your house. The afterparty is at Mila's."

"Sounds perfect." he agreed.

After that, I didn't drink for the rest of the party. After all, I was already going through a lot with depression and anxiety, I don't think that alcohol would mix well into that.

"I'm home." I exclaimed as I hung up my keys on the key hook.

"Is that my sweet Ryan girl?" Abuela walked out of the kitchen. "I'm making your favorite berry hand pies."

I gave her a hug. "You're right those are my favorite." 

"What's going on with you? You seem so happy! You have this glow going on about you." she squeezed my cheeks.

If anyone could read me it was definitely her.

"Brennan and I finally talked everything out. We're still just friends, but we're going to prom on Friday and everything feels like it starting together so I'm excited about that. I forgot what it felt like to feel happy." I explained to her.